Opposition

This one was a hard one to be grateful for...but at the end of the night I am begrudgingly grateful for it.  Today sucked.  I don't really know why.  After work I just got home and felt so lame.  I wanted to run but obviously not bad enough, because the freezing dark kept me inside.  So I was just feelin weird when one of my friends finally texted me about an email I sent a MONTH ago haha wow.  Basically the text went something like this: 

Her:  blah blah blah blah blah. 

And I replied with:  i say what I mean and nothing more.  stop looking at my email as something it's not and stop interpreting it into something else hoe. 

to which she said:  blahdee blah blah blah.

Needless to say that whole text made me feel even poopier lol.  She said some things that were completely untrue, and it made me upset.  It also made me upset that everyone has talked about the whole "me and Friend F" situation when I was promised it would stay between me and Friend F because it has nothing to do with the others.  Awesome.  Anyways I figured everyone would know and I don't care about that.  I care that everyone is only hearing one side.  Actually even if they heard my side they still wouldn't care haha.  Everyone says the whole "I'm not taking sides, I just wanna stay out of it" bit but the truth is they have taken sides.  They have ALL taken Friend F's side even if they don't say so.  Because lets face it, lots of the time actions speak louder than words.  And since the whole thing began, not one "friend" has spoken to me out of love.  Sure I haven't really spoken to them either, but that's because I'm sick of always being the initiator of "how are you?  tell me about your life!"  Friendship is a two way road and I've been going one way for way too long now.

So that's where the opposition comes in.  This whole thing just made my night worse despite my best efforts to not let those quans control my emotions.  Cause that makes me more mad than anything haha.  I've calmed down and grown a lot over the years especially the last year, and I'm proud of the fact that not much gets to me anymore.  I give credit fully to God and Clifton.  Since meeting Clifton I've become so much better :).  And since going back to church and working towards the temple I've become at peace inside and it feels incredible.  I don't think that peace was really there until then...until me and Clifton started praying together and reading the Book of Mormon together.  I love it.

Anyways I'm grateful for these poop days, because that means I can have amazing days. 

"For it must needs be, that there is an opposition in all things. If not so, my first-born in the wilderness, righteousness could not be brought to pass, neither wickedness, neither holiness nor misery, neither good nor bad. Wherefore, all things must needs be a compound in one; wherefore, if it should be one body it must needs remain as dead, having no life neither death, nor corruption nor incorruption, happiness nor misery, neither sense nor insensibility." 2 Nephi 2:11

And with Clifton and God?  I do have amazing days.  I really really do :)