The Moth King Forever

The moth flies into the overhead light again.

               forever blinded.
Somehow it's still beautiful, more so than the butterfly.
               forever humbled.
The light turns off and the moth is in its prime.
               forever grateful.
No one can stop the fuzzy selfless Moth King.
               forever noble.

So how's the married life?

I don't get why people always ask "so how's the married life?" Does anyone ever say it's the worst? Or is it a discreet way of asking how the sex is? Maybe people just care about my happiness and don't have anything better to say? I dunno. But I recently discovered THE best answer to this question haha. "How's being married?"


"Oh it's great I love being married, we have sex all the time."

Whether it's true or not...when me and Clifton make love it is no doubt making love. And we love each other a lot lot lot ;)

for him~for me~for god~for us

i lay here in bed with thoughts of love.
FOR HIM.
he knows my heart and kisses it's pulse.
FOR ME.
we're a solid pair and will one day be sealed.
FOR GOD.
FOR US.

The second night

This time making love was incredible.  We were both more in the mood.  You know, sex is always better when it's not expected and when the day hasn't been crazy and emotional and stressing.

Mr. and Mrs.

Since I'll be posting pictures of the wedding I won't really go into detail about that.  I'll just write what I remember most.

• Stressing for the first time since being engaged.
• Wanting to kill some people.
• Being angry Clifs mom (and basically everyone else) left decorating to get ready before me, the bride.  WTF?
• The time flying by before I walked down the aisle.
• Actually being nervous as I entered the gazebo.
• The guests standing during the whole ceremony cause Aaron forgot to tell them to sit.
• Crying out of love the whole ceremony.
• Thanking God there wasn't any wind.
• Lots of confusion and frustration before the reception.  Sometimes our wedding party is idiots.
• My arms practically falling off when I transformed my dress.
• Meeting lots of people and loving the photobooth.  Best decision.
• Being angry certain "friends" weren't there.
• Shoving the cake in Cliftons face.
• My awesome solo photostrip.
• Feeling bad everyone else was cleaning up and not me.
• Glad Leilani was there.
• Finally leaving.
• Being carried over the threshold haha.
• Surprise at the masterpiece Kari made in our bedroom.
• Candles and roses everywhere.
• Making love with my husband.

And that was...strange.  I've been physically involved before and Clifton knows that.  But it's never hurt before.  I cried because I felt like a disappointment and I was angry that when it was actually ok to be having sex I didn't want to do it because it hurt.  Clifton caught on and explained he couldn't feel anything because of the condoms.  Damn rubber penis gloves.  We made love a long time.  But finally I couldn't bear the pain anymore, and he was tired from not even being able to cum so we called it a night.  It was bittersweet though.  We took a hot bath afterwards and I loved that :].  We toasted to us.  The Mr. and Mrs. Saunders.

THINK before you ACT!

Last night I was working at FatCats and it was very...strange.  Seriously I've had some bad, stupid, grumpy, and happy customers.  But there must've been a full moon last night, because EVERYONE decided it was crazynight at crazytown.

My two workers were at their registers with lines that kept growing while I was grabbing shoes and helping out anyone with questions.  It was slow at first, but it seemed like out of nowhere everyone decided to attack the front desk.  I hate it when people do that.  Anyways I had someone from the billiards tables come straight to me to return the stuff and I'm pretty positive he was extremely drunk.  He had two tables and was only bringing back one while the other table finished their game.  I could not for the life of me get him to understand me.  I kept asking him which table he was returning as he continued to tell me he had two tables.  After 5 minutes of the runaround I finally just turned one table off not caring if it was the one still playing (when we turn off the table the lights go out so the players can't see).  Then the other table came up and he told me to close the other one so I did, then he tried to give me his money.  Wtf?  He wasn't even in line.  I explained to him that he couldn't just go in front of customers that have been waiting in line.  It totally makes sense to turn off their tables immediately so they don't get charged more while waiting in line but it didn't make sense to him why he had to wait in line.  He threw a fit and tried to grab the receipts from me but I had a feeling that if I gave him the receipts, he would conveniently "lose" one and we wouldn't be able to charge him.  So finally the jerk got in line and paid...I was so glad I hold on to the ID until after they pay.

After that I continued grabbing tons of shoes and fixing lanes and answering questions and helping the new guy on his register.  I was being worn out a little thin...but hey to make things better ANOTHER crazy drunk came up.  He started yelling because he was on the 5th frame and couldn't finish his game.  I looked at his lane information and he had paid for the hour for 2 people.  They were on the FIFTH game lol.  So I told him he couldn't finish his game and he smiled and left.  Apparently it wasn't settled like he thought, because he came back and said "WHAT THE FUCK?!  I CAN'T FINISH MY GAME?!  THAT'S FUCKED UP!!!"  He was super mad.  So I told him he paid only $10 for what would normally be $30 because of how many games he played.  He thankfully walked off, but I was at a breaking point and started crying while I grabbed some shoes.  The customers I was grabbing shoes for witnessed the whole situation with both drunks and they saw that I was crying.  And they didn't say or do anything.

The whole situation just made me think.  What causes a person to lash out like that?  I have done nothing wrong.  In fact I was being extremely polite and I wasn't ripping them off in the slightest!  Being rude for no reason never makes sense to me.  Sure maybe they had a bad day and I understand that...but if you're having a bad day why the HELL would you go out in public?  When I have a bad day I just wanna lay in my bed and watch movies haha.  Because I know that if I go somewhere I will be rude and people that work in customer service do not deserve that.  I DO NOT DESERVE THAT.  It's hard enough working in customer service all day.  Dealing with cheats and idiots and grumps.  And then having to clean up after everyone.  Peachy day.  I just don't get it though.  And I don't get why the customers that saw what happened didn't say anything either.  If I see someone being mistreated, you bet your ass I will say something.  We are children of GOD...imagine what happens when a man mistreats a daddys girl and what the father does in that situation...then times it by a gazillion!  Who the hell would mess with Gods children like that when they will pay for it in an eternal way one day?  Just something to chew on.

So next time you go somewhere, think about all the shit the person helping you has gone through in their personal life and at their job and think about the way you treat them.  Do you make their job harder by complaining about prices they can't control?  Do you act snide or rude or better than them?  Or do you treat them like princes and princesses and compliment them on their looks or how they are doing their job?  THINK.  Before you act.

My life is ridiculous haha

So since my car got totaled by a drunk driver, I've been making my way around on a razor scooter.  Let me tell you.  They are AWESOME.  Sure it gets a little tiring especially when it takes 40 minutes to get to work...but I'm lucky enough to have a job.

Anyways!  Yesterday I went grocery shopping for the first time without the car and...ha that was a joke.  We only live like a mile and a half from Walmart which really isn't so bad...with a CAR.  Just picture some girl scootering along the busiest street with 10 grocery bags on her arms and handlebars.  And then picture her fall.  Yeah that was fun :D.

I didn't get hurt or anything, but I couldn't stop laughing because lots of the time--my life is just ridiculous.  And I love it :]

The rhyming fight

My love and I just got in a fight,
it was stupid and we'll make it right.
I hate how I feel and I miss my man,
I closed the door on him and then he ran.
We were both dramatic of that I regret,
Our feelings are important but surely not set.
Another tear falls as I think of his hug,
He should be holding me now that gives my heart a tug.
We just need a night some time to think,
It'll all work out cause our love will never sink.
But for now it's ok to be really sad,
I love Clifton Saunders he's a great lad.