I am grateful for Marissa and JC. They have put up with so much crap from me! Obviously not anymore, but when they first started dating a lot of people got hurt and things were really difficult for awhile. I made it my goal to hate Marissa and I was so out of line. It's because her and I are so alike that I freaked out the way I did. We were sworn enemies until about November when I strongly felt I needed to fix things with her. So I apologized and her and I are so good now :). In fact, we are in California right now. The only reason me and Clifton were able to even come was because of them. Yay!!!
So on the way here, a certain song came on. I mentioned that it was mine and Cliftons first song together and Marissa told me to shup up. Because it was her and JC's first song together as well. Haha! It was at that moment I was just so full of gratitude and love for them. This adventure is going to be awesome. Anyways, I don't LOVE the music video but they edited it really cool. Here's the song :)
Monday, February 28, 2011
Sunday, February 27, 2011
Arts & crafts
Today JC and Marissa came over and we made our Disneyland shirts for this weeks vacation!!! I'm grateful for arts and crafts. It was so much fun. I think it's wonderful just throwing together a bunch of random things and being creative enough to make something incredible out of it :). So here's our awesome shirts.
Saturday, February 26, 2011
Service
I mentioned already I'm giving a talk tomorrow in church. The topic is walking in the light of the Lord. There are three main things to do this and they are the three parables given in Matthew 25. Prepare yourself spiritually, share your gifts and talents, and service.
Service has always been something I love to do. It's been a big part of my life thanks to my mom. When we were young she made sure we knew how important it was to give of ourselves. We did the 12 days of Christmas to needy families. Each day in December before Christmas we would leave a bunch of toys and food on the doorsteps of the families my mom chose and we would door-bell ditch them. It was great fun for us to ring the doorbell then run, and it was great for us to think of other people. Another thing we did was visit Carla. I don't even know how my mom met her, but Carla was handicapped. She was in a wheelchair and was mentally challenged. But it wasn't too severe, because she was able to live in a community by herself. Obviously her two daughters stopped by and visited, but we did too. We helped her move to her new home, and we entertained her. She was a wonderful artist and my absolute favorite picture of Christ is the one she painted. I wish I took a picture so I could show you! It's in my front room right next to a figurine and the picture of me and Clifton. It is definitely one of my most treasured items. In fact, it's the 4th thing I'd grab in case our house caught fire (1-journals, 2-file box full of important papers such as ss cards, w2s, warranties, stories I've done, etc, 3-photo albums). Anyway, she died probably a year after we started visiting her. A truck hit her while she was crossing the street. It was ridiculous. I think about her a lot and I love the memories I have of her.
I am grateful for service. I am grateful there is something bigger than ourselves. Something more than just surviving and working and worrying about our problems.
“Service to humanity is service to God. Let the love and light of the Kingdom radiate through you until all who look upon you shall be illumined by its reflection. Be as stars, brilliant and sparkling in the loftiness of their heavenly station."
"The best way to find yourself is to lose yourself in the service of others." -Ghandi
"Help others and give something back. I guarantee you will discover that while public service improves the lives and the world around you, its greatest reward is the enrichment and new meaning it will bring your own life." -Arnold Schwarzenegger
Wow Arnold? I hate you, but I'm impressed! Haha
Service has always been something I love to do. It's been a big part of my life thanks to my mom. When we were young she made sure we knew how important it was to give of ourselves. We did the 12 days of Christmas to needy families. Each day in December before Christmas we would leave a bunch of toys and food on the doorsteps of the families my mom chose and we would door-bell ditch them. It was great fun for us to ring the doorbell then run, and it was great for us to think of other people. Another thing we did was visit Carla. I don't even know how my mom met her, but Carla was handicapped. She was in a wheelchair and was mentally challenged. But it wasn't too severe, because she was able to live in a community by herself. Obviously her two daughters stopped by and visited, but we did too. We helped her move to her new home, and we entertained her. She was a wonderful artist and my absolute favorite picture of Christ is the one she painted. I wish I took a picture so I could show you! It's in my front room right next to a figurine and the picture of me and Clifton. It is definitely one of my most treasured items. In fact, it's the 4th thing I'd grab in case our house caught fire (1-journals, 2-file box full of important papers such as ss cards, w2s, warranties, stories I've done, etc, 3-photo albums). Anyway, she died probably a year after we started visiting her. A truck hit her while she was crossing the street. It was ridiculous. I think about her a lot and I love the memories I have of her.
I am grateful for service. I am grateful there is something bigger than ourselves. Something more than just surviving and working and worrying about our problems.
“Service to humanity is service to God. Let the love and light of the Kingdom radiate through you until all who look upon you shall be illumined by its reflection. Be as stars, brilliant and sparkling in the loftiness of their heavenly station."
"The best way to find yourself is to lose yourself in the service of others." -Ghandi
"Help others and give something back. I guarantee you will discover that while public service improves the lives and the world around you, its greatest reward is the enrichment and new meaning it will bring your own life." -Arnold Schwarzenegger
Wow Arnold? I hate you, but I'm impressed! Haha
Friday, February 25, 2011
Space heaters
Wow. It's been so freezing. And my house doesn't really heat up so great, since we don't have covers over our many many windows. Great. But never fear. We have a space heater. It is heaven. When we got married we got a fatso gift card to Home Depot and my freak of a husband had his heart set on a space heater. Since I had spent most of our other gift cards, I decided it was his to decide. So we got the blasted thing, despite my protests of saying it will never get used.
I was sooooo wrong. I use it every day. It's the best. If we set it on the timer in our room with the door closed, it heats up the whole bedroom quite nicely. Definitely cuts down on our gas costs as well. I love it. I'm super grateful for space heaters. Yeah baby.
I was sooooo wrong. I use it every day. It's the best. If we set it on the timer in our room with the door closed, it heats up the whole bedroom quite nicely. Definitely cuts down on our gas costs as well. I love it. I'm super grateful for space heaters. Yeah baby.
Thursday, February 24, 2011
Lost & Found
About 2 months ago me and Clifton went on a date to Olive Garden. After that we went to Fatcats, and then to Cinemax (or whatever that theater is that used to be the Pointe lol). A few days later we realized the camera was missing. I knew for sure I grabbed it after dinner and was fairly certain I put it in the car when leaving Olive Garden. I was positive I did not take it into the movie, but other than that I had no idea where it had gone. So, for the past 2 months I have looked all over for it at random times. Clifton kept telling me to call Olive Garden but I was sure they wouldn't have it because my memory is awesome. I already called Fatcats and it wasn't there. Next week we are going to California so I have been desparate to bring a camera! Desparate enough to call Olive Garden; even though I knew they didn't have it.
While at work today I finally called and they did have a camera, but the lady I was talking to definitely had no idea what she was doing with it. I was sure it wasn't my camera since it was TWO MONTHS ago, and I knew I had brought it in the car. I didn't want to drive all the way out to Riverdale just to get my hopes up and find out it was not my camera when I got there. I was trying to explain to the lady over the phone how to use the camera but I honestly hadn't used it in so long I had trouble remembering. After understanding how to get to the playback feature, she described the first picture she saw and my heart sank. I wasn't wearing blue that night :(. And my husband didn't shove food in my face. But then I realized the couple we doubled with DID do that!
That's right. It was totally my camera. I almost started crying because I was so happy. I hate losing permanent memories like those captured through a camera. I'm so grateful for lost and found. This kind of goes along with honesty. I cannot believe someone turned in the camera. I thought about it and I do know for a fact I brought the camera out to the car with me. I think I set it on top of the car and forgot to grab it. It is amazing to me that someone didn't steal it. If I worked at Olive Garden, I would have taken it after a month of no claims.
Since I'm giving a talk this Sunday in church on walking in the light of the Lord, this story is perfect. We all lose our way sometimes. But our Heavenly Father and Savior cannot wait until we find our way again, and they are so incredibly happy when we do.
While at work today I finally called and they did have a camera, but the lady I was talking to definitely had no idea what she was doing with it. I was sure it wasn't my camera since it was TWO MONTHS ago, and I knew I had brought it in the car. I didn't want to drive all the way out to Riverdale just to get my hopes up and find out it was not my camera when I got there. I was trying to explain to the lady over the phone how to use the camera but I honestly hadn't used it in so long I had trouble remembering. After understanding how to get to the playback feature, she described the first picture she saw and my heart sank. I wasn't wearing blue that night :(. And my husband didn't shove food in my face. But then I realized the couple we doubled with DID do that!
That's right. It was totally my camera. I almost started crying because I was so happy. I hate losing permanent memories like those captured through a camera. I'm so grateful for lost and found. This kind of goes along with honesty. I cannot believe someone turned in the camera. I thought about it and I do know for a fact I brought the camera out to the car with me. I think I set it on top of the car and forgot to grab it. It is amazing to me that someone didn't steal it. If I worked at Olive Garden, I would have taken it after a month of no claims.
Since I'm giving a talk this Sunday in church on walking in the light of the Lord, this story is perfect. We all lose our way sometimes. But our Heavenly Father and Savior cannot wait until we find our way again, and they are so incredibly happy when we do.
Wednesday, February 23, 2011
Honesty
Today I did something so stupid. I shouldn't have done it and I completely know better. I gave in to my human wants instead of my spiritual needs and I am so mad at myself for it. But somehow when I told Clifton it made things better. I think no matter how stupid we are, we can always pull through things and get past our stupidity as long as we're honest with each other. I think most of the time people get hurt or angry not because someone did something hurtful, but because they weren't honest about it. Either they waited too long to confess, or didn't even say anything until the person they hurt found out. Obviously there are hurtful things out there. But I just thing being completely open and honest makes things hurt a lot less. It's wonderful having someone I can completely trust with my heart. After I told him he actually thought it was no big deal. Maybe it was, but to me it wasn't. Clifton deserves the truth no matter how hard it is to say. He is my one and only and deceiving him in any way is completely out of the question now. I cheated on him when we first started dating and I am continually impressed that he has forgiven me. I know now that I do not want to jeopardize this wonderful relationship in my life in any way. I think it's cheesy when people say they need someone in their life; I think it's cheesy when people say they don't need someone in their life because they can still survive without that person. But guys. I do need Clifton in my life. Every once and awhile I play the worst-case-scenario game in my head and it physically hurts me to think about my life without Clifton. If he had not chosen to love me for all that I am I don't know if I ever would have been able to live up to my full potential. I know that God is always there for me, but we as humans do need each other to make it through this life. We need love, support, understanding, and acceptance. "What are we here for, if not to make life easier for each other?"
Sorry, I kind of strayed from my original topic. We owe each other honesty. It's pointless to lie. Lying is purposefully deceiving someone. So if you choose to leave a few details out, or not say all you know about the situation, or perhaps lead someone on to believe something else; you are lying. It's a mean mind game and does absolutely no good. I'm grateful for the people that respect me enough to be completely honest. They know my worth. Everyone deserves honesty in their lives. I'm grateful for Clifton and the honesty he brings into my life.
Sorry, I kind of strayed from my original topic. We owe each other honesty. It's pointless to lie. Lying is purposefully deceiving someone. So if you choose to leave a few details out, or not say all you know about the situation, or perhaps lead someone on to believe something else; you are lying. It's a mean mind game and does absolutely no good. I'm grateful for the people that respect me enough to be completely honest. They know my worth. Everyone deserves honesty in their lives. I'm grateful for Clifton and the honesty he brings into my life.
Tuesday, February 22, 2011
Cuddle time
I really love cuddling with my husband. It feels like we don't cuddle very much, although if you ask him we cuddle all the time. Just to set things straight: sitting on the couch leaning on him doesn't count as cuddling for me! Cuddling is way more intimate than that, which is why I love it so much. Tonight me and Clifton really cuddled and I loved it. Cuddling doesn't always need to lead towards sex or anything else. It's just wonderful being in each others arms knowing that we are perfect for each other. I'm the only one for him and he's the only one for me. I LOVE CUDDLE TIME!!!
Monday, February 21, 2011
All nighters
Confession: I stayed up all night last night watching Glee.
Consequence: Freak panic attack tonight.
When I was young and growing up I pretty much never pulled all-nighters. In high school it was so hard for me to even stay up until 10. I remember staying up only a few New Year Eves, and maybe once or twice to finish an assignment. But even then I think I got a few hours of sleep. All of that changed in college. I pulled all-nighters constantly. Me and my roommates stayed up helping each other finish assignments, or just hangin out and playing all night with my dormmates. It was awesome. One time I stayed up 39 hours and I didn't even feel tired or anything; maybe a little more slow than usual but that's all.
Since college I've stayed up all night a few times, but mostly I just stay up late then get a few hours of sleep. Last year I stayed up for 36 hours (I honestly cannot remember why) and I was perfectly fine until the end of Valentines Day. Clifton and his friends put together a really cute group dinner but we didn't really have an activity or play games. So after dinner everyone left and I had a chance to lay down on Cliftons big lovesac (we call it a pillow since it is more flat than round like a lovesac). We were getting ready to watch a movie and the sleep deprivation finally hit me. I started whining about not being able to move my legs and Clifton kept telling me that if I wanted to move them to just move them. My body and mind was finally exhausted and I willed my legs to move but that obviously wasn't enough. Then I got to be hysterical about everything. I was convinced my legs were glued together because I was a mermaid; in the which I started bawling because I needed water to survive and I was clearly not in water. After calming down a little about the mermaid incident Clifton joined me on the pillow and held me. I noticed a hole in his pants and started crying hysterically again. I told my love that I didn't want the snow to go down his pant legs and that I would sew his pants for him. Good times. After I cried hysterically, I laughed hysterically. This "sleep-drunk" behavior lasted about two hours before Clifton decided it was useless to try and watch a movie; he called a friend to help bring me home. On the way to my house I stuck my feet out the window and started laughing like a psycho, pointing out that I was wearing Christmas toe socks on Valentines Day. Come on, it was hilarious.
Clifton and I often bring up that sleep-drunk night and have a great laugh. I don't have any other explanations for the things I said other than the fact that I had gone so long without sleep and my mind acted as though it was chemically imbalanced. Since then I have not gone a night without sleep; until last night. It was fun watching Glee. Seriously, I told you I was super addicted. The only thing I noticed today was that I almost fell asleep walking home from work. Other than that I was fine. Clifton got home and after talking and watching a movie we went to bed. I tried falling asleep but my mind was taken over by irrational fears of a break in. I wanted to sit up and tell Clifton, or at least talk to him about my fear but the panic inside of me wouldn't allow it. I was terrified that if I got up to get a drink or use the bathroom, someone with a knife would be waiting for me in our house. Finally I was able to manage a little whimper and when Clifton started talking to me I somehow snapped out of my fear. He calmed me down and held me until I was almost asleep. I know he can't sleep when I cuddle next to him because he gets too hot so I moved back to my side and soon enough the panic would start up again. Eventually I was able to get to sleep after a few prayers. This anxiety attack that I had was so weird and out of the blue though. I started having really bad anxiety attacks after my first love kept breaking my heart. I had them every other week or so and I know it was because I was really down in the dumps. Since meeting Clifton I've probably only had one anxiety attack, if that. He makes me so happy that I am confident I'm past that part of my life. Just as long as I get enough sleep.
I realized tonight that I'm not at the prime of my life anymore. I can't pull any all-nighters without my mind, body, and emotions going so out of whack. I know I'm still young, but there's just certain things I can't get away with anymore. I can still eat whatever I want without gaining a pound, but I can no longer run without my knees aching in pain. I can look young for many more years, but I can't stay up all night like I used to. I am grateful for all-nighters, even though I don't think I'll have many more. They have been a blast and I enjoy them, even though my body goes crazy afterwards. I'm grateful for what I've learned from staying up late and I'm grateful for the incredibly fun memories I have from college while staying up all night.
Consequence: Freak panic attack tonight.
When I was young and growing up I pretty much never pulled all-nighters. In high school it was so hard for me to even stay up until 10. I remember staying up only a few New Year Eves, and maybe once or twice to finish an assignment. But even then I think I got a few hours of sleep. All of that changed in college. I pulled all-nighters constantly. Me and my roommates stayed up helping each other finish assignments, or just hangin out and playing all night with my dormmates. It was awesome. One time I stayed up 39 hours and I didn't even feel tired or anything; maybe a little more slow than usual but that's all.
Since college I've stayed up all night a few times, but mostly I just stay up late then get a few hours of sleep. Last year I stayed up for 36 hours (I honestly cannot remember why) and I was perfectly fine until the end of Valentines Day. Clifton and his friends put together a really cute group dinner but we didn't really have an activity or play games. So after dinner everyone left and I had a chance to lay down on Cliftons big lovesac (we call it a pillow since it is more flat than round like a lovesac). We were getting ready to watch a movie and the sleep deprivation finally hit me. I started whining about not being able to move my legs and Clifton kept telling me that if I wanted to move them to just move them. My body and mind was finally exhausted and I willed my legs to move but that obviously wasn't enough. Then I got to be hysterical about everything. I was convinced my legs were glued together because I was a mermaid; in the which I started bawling because I needed water to survive and I was clearly not in water. After calming down a little about the mermaid incident Clifton joined me on the pillow and held me. I noticed a hole in his pants and started crying hysterically again. I told my love that I didn't want the snow to go down his pant legs and that I would sew his pants for him. Good times. After I cried hysterically, I laughed hysterically. This "sleep-drunk" behavior lasted about two hours before Clifton decided it was useless to try and watch a movie; he called a friend to help bring me home. On the way to my house I stuck my feet out the window and started laughing like a psycho, pointing out that I was wearing Christmas toe socks on Valentines Day. Come on, it was hilarious.
Clifton and I often bring up that sleep-drunk night and have a great laugh. I don't have any other explanations for the things I said other than the fact that I had gone so long without sleep and my mind acted as though it was chemically imbalanced. Since then I have not gone a night without sleep; until last night. It was fun watching Glee. Seriously, I told you I was super addicted. The only thing I noticed today was that I almost fell asleep walking home from work. Other than that I was fine. Clifton got home and after talking and watching a movie we went to bed. I tried falling asleep but my mind was taken over by irrational fears of a break in. I wanted to sit up and tell Clifton, or at least talk to him about my fear but the panic inside of me wouldn't allow it. I was terrified that if I got up to get a drink or use the bathroom, someone with a knife would be waiting for me in our house. Finally I was able to manage a little whimper and when Clifton started talking to me I somehow snapped out of my fear. He calmed me down and held me until I was almost asleep. I know he can't sleep when I cuddle next to him because he gets too hot so I moved back to my side and soon enough the panic would start up again. Eventually I was able to get to sleep after a few prayers. This anxiety attack that I had was so weird and out of the blue though. I started having really bad anxiety attacks after my first love kept breaking my heart. I had them every other week or so and I know it was because I was really down in the dumps. Since meeting Clifton I've probably only had one anxiety attack, if that. He makes me so happy that I am confident I'm past that part of my life. Just as long as I get enough sleep.
I realized tonight that I'm not at the prime of my life anymore. I can't pull any all-nighters without my mind, body, and emotions going so out of whack. I know I'm still young, but there's just certain things I can't get away with anymore. I can still eat whatever I want without gaining a pound, but I can no longer run without my knees aching in pain. I can look young for many more years, but I can't stay up all night like I used to. I am grateful for all-nighters, even though I don't think I'll have many more. They have been a blast and I enjoy them, even though my body goes crazy afterwards. I'm grateful for what I've learned from staying up late and I'm grateful for the incredibly fun memories I have from college while staying up all night.
Sunday, February 20, 2011
Video recording
Saturday, February 19, 2011
GLEE
I have constantly been hearing about this new show called Glee since it started last year. All of my facebook friends were in love, all of my siblings were in love. Honestly it looked so dumb to me; like High School Musical. Victoria and Andrew were watching it last week one night when I got home and I was determined to ignore that silly series altogether. Obviously that didn't work. I was completely hooked after the first episode. Since then I have been going crazy watching it and obsessing about it all the time. It is so funny! It drives me crazy too sometimes, but I have to keep watching. Especially since I've been in love with Corey Monteith (Finn) the second I saw him in that first episode. He's not the brightest, but I dunno man, there's just something about him that makes me wild. Lea Michele is really beautiful too. So that's what I'm grateful for today. :)
For your viewing pleasure.
Man I really love him!
Friday, February 18, 2011
Ogden River Parkway
Today me and Scout went on a nice long walk along the Ogden River Parkway and it was so wonderful! The city is remodeling a lot of the parkway to make it more appealing and also at a safer distance from the river. I was really impressed with how things were coming along. I've always loved the parkway but now I know I love it even more. I'm grateful to have it in this city and for the great time me and Scout had on it today.
Thursday, February 17, 2011
New beginnings
Today me and Friend F finally talked. It was over the phone, but way better than texting or email. We worked things out and that's good. I don't know how much I'll really be able to care about her, but things are good. After someone drops me for no good reason I just become really apathetic. I am definitely glad everything is fine between us now and I hope it stays that way...but that's about as far as I am right now. I probably didn't explain all of that sensibly. The point is, I'm grateful for new beginnings.
Wednesday, February 16, 2011
Perspective
"There once was a man that lived in a village somewhere near the forest. This village was often a place people would pass through in search of a new place to live. The man became the leader of the village and all newcomers would talk to him. One day an elderly couple came to him.
"Sir, what is this village like? Are the people good people?" the elderly husband asked.
The leader of the village replied, "First let me ask you, what was your previous village like?"
"Oh it was horrible. The people of Alban were really rude and my neighbors constantly attacked me for no reason. The pathways were disgusting and the air was always smoky." said the elderly husband.
"I'm so sorry," the leader sympathized, "but these people are the exact same. You'd be happier moving on to the next village." And with that the elderly couple left.
A few days later a young couple with two kids came by and asked the same question.
"First let me ask you," said the leader, "what was your previous village like?"
"Well we come from Alban and it was the most miserable place we've ever been in. No one was nice and no one had the decency to even welcome us when we moved in. Our neighbors were loud and obnoxious and the village was a big horror." commented the wife.
"I'm so sorry, but these people are the exact same. You'd be happier moving on to the next village." And with that the young family left.
A week later the old man was approached by a businessman.
"Sir, I'm looking for a place to buy and would like to know what this village is like" said the businessman.
"First let me ask you, what was your previous village like?" asked the leader.
"Oh Alban was the best village I ever lived in! Everyone was generous and kind. The village was beautiful and smelled fresh every day. I will miss the dear people of Alban very much."
"Sir," the leader said "these people are the exact same. I suspect you will love our village very much"
The businessman moved to the village the next week."
I'm grateful for perspective. There are always so many sides to a story someone is telling. It's hard to tell who's exaggerating and who's not. It's important to have perspective in life. There are so many different ways to have perspective, but I'm talking about the kind of perspective that allows you to see through someone elses eyes and understand the things they do. The perspective that allows you to grin and bare it when someone steals your money, thinking they might need it more. And if it was out of plain greed, what drove that greed? Perspective that makes you resist honking at another driver that just cut you off; because maybe they just found out their spouse was in a terrible accident and dying in the hospital at that moment. You never really know what a stranger is going through. Give them the benefit of the doubt. Have the perspective that doesn't focus on negative, but on positive. Like the short story above. All three people the leader spoke to were from the same village. Two chose to be negative and were miserable. One chose to have perspective and instead of jumping to conclusions, got to know the people and why they weren't as warm at first. That one was the happy one in life.
I've learned a lot about perspective the past few weeks. It sometimes sucks being taught a lesson because it can be humiliating and force you to swallow some pride. But after the lesson is learned it feels so great. I know I'll have to learn this perspective lesson again and I'm fine with that, but for now I'm grateful for the perspective so I can better understand people.
"Sir, what is this village like? Are the people good people?" the elderly husband asked.
The leader of the village replied, "First let me ask you, what was your previous village like?"
"Oh it was horrible. The people of Alban were really rude and my neighbors constantly attacked me for no reason. The pathways were disgusting and the air was always smoky." said the elderly husband.
"I'm so sorry," the leader sympathized, "but these people are the exact same. You'd be happier moving on to the next village." And with that the elderly couple left.
A few days later a young couple with two kids came by and asked the same question.
"First let me ask you," said the leader, "what was your previous village like?"
"Well we come from Alban and it was the most miserable place we've ever been in. No one was nice and no one had the decency to even welcome us when we moved in. Our neighbors were loud and obnoxious and the village was a big horror." commented the wife.
"I'm so sorry, but these people are the exact same. You'd be happier moving on to the next village." And with that the young family left.
A week later the old man was approached by a businessman.
"Sir, I'm looking for a place to buy and would like to know what this village is like" said the businessman.
"First let me ask you, what was your previous village like?" asked the leader.
"Oh Alban was the best village I ever lived in! Everyone was generous and kind. The village was beautiful and smelled fresh every day. I will miss the dear people of Alban very much."
"Sir," the leader said "these people are the exact same. I suspect you will love our village very much"
The businessman moved to the village the next week."
I'm grateful for perspective. There are always so many sides to a story someone is telling. It's hard to tell who's exaggerating and who's not. It's important to have perspective in life. There are so many different ways to have perspective, but I'm talking about the kind of perspective that allows you to see through someone elses eyes and understand the things they do. The perspective that allows you to grin and bare it when someone steals your money, thinking they might need it more. And if it was out of plain greed, what drove that greed? Perspective that makes you resist honking at another driver that just cut you off; because maybe they just found out their spouse was in a terrible accident and dying in the hospital at that moment. You never really know what a stranger is going through. Give them the benefit of the doubt. Have the perspective that doesn't focus on negative, but on positive. Like the short story above. All three people the leader spoke to were from the same village. Two chose to be negative and were miserable. One chose to have perspective and instead of jumping to conclusions, got to know the people and why they weren't as warm at first. That one was the happy one in life.
I've learned a lot about perspective the past few weeks. It sometimes sucks being taught a lesson because it can be humiliating and force you to swallow some pride. But after the lesson is learned it feels so great. I know I'll have to learn this perspective lesson again and I'm fine with that, but for now I'm grateful for the perspective so I can better understand people.
Tuesday, February 15, 2011
Confidence
Ok. So one of my biggest fears is plagiarism. It's so hard coming up with an idea that no one has thought of and published already. Then again it's also really easy. Especially in my mind. It definitely helps that I remember my dreams nearly every night. Dreams are so out of whack and so original, I love it. I'm always afraid I'll post something and a friend will come across it and think I copied them or something, when I've only ever posted from my life and heart. I'm afraid my book has been written already. I think it was a dream I had, but I have had this weird deja vu feeling since the idea came to me and I swear I've read it somewhere. But after searching the New Eras and Friend magazines, looking online, and in the library, I can't find anything like it. I came up with the idea in high school and didn't realize I wanted to make it a book until last year. I realized it would be a perfect childrens book. But I'm seriously so paranoid about plagiarism, I STILL look online every few months to see if somehow I did steal my idea from someone. Anyway today I have been grateful for confidence, and as I was about to start this post I saw my friend had posted about confidence as well. And she wrote everything about it so perfect! So this post won't be as long as it was originally gonna be, yay.
Tonight I went to a buddys birthday party and I knew from the start that Friend F would be there. And that Clifton would not. There goes my security blanket and confidence. I got there and of course felt out of place. I shouldn't have felt that way because the birthday boy was giving me a lot of attention. But with being in a place with someone who wrote me off for no good reason, and not having my husband to hold on to and pay attention I felt at a loss of what to do. I was not comfortable being me right then. I had nothing really to contribute to conversations. Nothing interesting has happened lately, and it's hard for me to talk when I feel weird.
I still had fun, and I still made an effort. I loved watching one girl because anyone could tell she loved who she was and she knew what she stood for. She didn't care what anyone thought which is such an amazing thing to me. I care too much what people think when Clifton's not around, and even then I've become too self-conscious. I loved that she just danced and laughed and wrestled and did her thing with no worries as to who liked her or not. I'm grateful for her and her confidence because it's reminded me how important it is to love myself. I'm grateful for my friends blog as well. I loved this bit of hers in particular:
"It's an act of pride not to believe in yourself and your own good qualities. That almost seems like an oxymoron, but truly, God has given every single one of us talents and abilities, and He thinks all of us are beautiful and intelligent. Not only does He think so now, but He thought I was beautiful and intelligent when I was a freshman at Snow too, and even when I was in high school. And by disagreeing with His view, we're basically saying that we know better than God--the only Person who knows us better than we know ourselves. He sees us as we truly are and He sees our wonderful potential. So while I still may struggle with my confidence, it's really a matter of faith that He knows me and He believes in me, and if the greatest Being in the universe, Who knows everything and everyone, sees me as someone of value, then who am I to disagree? I really am nothing without God, and He is where I need to draw my confidence.
Sometimes I feel overwhelmed with my faults and my shortcomings, and I want to hide from everyone so they won't think badly of me. But it's not everyone else's opinions that count, and I'm denying people love when they may need it and I'm denying myself love and I know I need it."
Tonight I went to a buddys birthday party and I knew from the start that Friend F would be there. And that Clifton would not. There goes my security blanket and confidence. I got there and of course felt out of place. I shouldn't have felt that way because the birthday boy was giving me a lot of attention. But with being in a place with someone who wrote me off for no good reason, and not having my husband to hold on to and pay attention I felt at a loss of what to do. I was not comfortable being me right then. I had nothing really to contribute to conversations. Nothing interesting has happened lately, and it's hard for me to talk when I feel weird.
I still had fun, and I still made an effort. I loved watching one girl because anyone could tell she loved who she was and she knew what she stood for. She didn't care what anyone thought which is such an amazing thing to me. I care too much what people think when Clifton's not around, and even then I've become too self-conscious. I loved that she just danced and laughed and wrestled and did her thing with no worries as to who liked her or not. I'm grateful for her and her confidence because it's reminded me how important it is to love myself. I'm grateful for my friends blog as well. I loved this bit of hers in particular:
"It's an act of pride not to believe in yourself and your own good qualities. That almost seems like an oxymoron, but truly, God has given every single one of us talents and abilities, and He thinks all of us are beautiful and intelligent. Not only does He think so now, but He thought I was beautiful and intelligent when I was a freshman at Snow too, and even when I was in high school. And by disagreeing with His view, we're basically saying that we know better than God--the only Person who knows us better than we know ourselves. He sees us as we truly are and He sees our wonderful potential. So while I still may struggle with my confidence, it's really a matter of faith that He knows me and He believes in me, and if the greatest Being in the universe, Who knows everything and everyone, sees me as someone of value, then who am I to disagree? I really am nothing without God, and He is where I need to draw my confidence.
Sometimes I feel overwhelmed with my faults and my shortcomings, and I want to hide from everyone so they won't think badly of me. But it's not everyone else's opinions that count, and I'm denying people love when they may need it and I'm denying myself love and I know I need it."
Monday, February 14, 2011
Valentines Day
So Clifton went all our for me yesterday. I wanted to do something special for him as well to make up for my selfishness and apathetic attitude but I couldn't think of anything good enough. At around 3 I finally got a solid plan in place thanks to a co-worker and her brilliant ideas.
All I told Clifton was that I needed his car when I got off at 5 to get some tampons (big fat lie) and fill his car with gas. I did fill it with gas. I also washed it and vacuumed it really well for him. I then made a bunch of silly love rhymes and hung them over his car. Things like "I think you're cute you've got a great smile, I love you so much please stay awhile" and "You're selfless and caring with me, you even love my small size B!" haha that one was his favorite cause we always joke about my small boobs (smoobs) and how his are the same size :P. I bought him a maroon dress shirt and his favorite soda and put that in the drivers seat. When I got home I told him he needed to get ready and I immediately started rushing. Everything took longer than I hoped so we were running behind. And by that I mean we had 15 minutes to make it to our dinner reservation.
Now the dinner part was hard to come up with. Jasoh's only had a maybe availability at 9, chili's was only doing first come first serve, Prairie Schooner was way out of my price range, and so on. When I called Timbermine they told me it was first come first serve as well but they were completely confident there would not be a wait since their facility was so large, which is what set him apart from all the other restaurants. Plus, Timbermine is one of Cliftons favorites and I've never been so I was pretty excited about that one.
I got in my wedding dress; it's totally awesome having a dress that can be short and long. I just shortened it, threw on an over sleeve, and added a red ribbon around the waist with red shoes and jewelry. It turned out marvelous ;). AND my hair was straight. I rarely do my hair straight because my straightener is broken and my hair is naturally wavy. It takes so long, but I know it's Cliftons favorite. He wore his wedding vest as well. We were classy for sure. Right when we got to the Timbermine we were seated. Righteous! Each table and booth has it's own lighting so people can totally turn the lights out and make out in the corner and no one would even know or care. It's just nice and private like that. Not that we made out in our booth or anything. No. Definitely not. Gross.
After our incredible dinner we went home and finally made love. I wanted to yesterday, but we were so tired. We put in Transformers which I've never seen and cuddled in bed. It was perfect. I'm grateful for Valentines day. Me and Clifton loved yesterday and today so much that we made a new tradition. Every Valentines we will do something really special for each other. One of us the day before, and one of us the day of. I'm really excited for that. I believe that acts of love and kindness should be done throughout the year, which is perhaps why I didn't plan anything special for Valentines. But I'm grateful for the opportunity and excuse to really go all out for the one I love and have him do the same for me. Today and yesterday were honestly the best 2 days of my life :).
All I told Clifton was that I needed his car when I got off at 5 to get some tampons (big fat lie) and fill his car with gas. I did fill it with gas. I also washed it and vacuumed it really well for him. I then made a bunch of silly love rhymes and hung them over his car. Things like "I think you're cute you've got a great smile, I love you so much please stay awhile" and "You're selfless and caring with me, you even love my small size B!" haha that one was his favorite cause we always joke about my small boobs (smoobs) and how his are the same size :P. I bought him a maroon dress shirt and his favorite soda and put that in the drivers seat. When I got home I told him he needed to get ready and I immediately started rushing. Everything took longer than I hoped so we were running behind. And by that I mean we had 15 minutes to make it to our dinner reservation.
Now the dinner part was hard to come up with. Jasoh's only had a maybe availability at 9, chili's was only doing first come first serve, Prairie Schooner was way out of my price range, and so on. When I called Timbermine they told me it was first come first serve as well but they were completely confident there would not be a wait since their facility was so large, which is what set him apart from all the other restaurants. Plus, Timbermine is one of Cliftons favorites and I've never been so I was pretty excited about that one.
I got in my wedding dress; it's totally awesome having a dress that can be short and long. I just shortened it, threw on an over sleeve, and added a red ribbon around the waist with red shoes and jewelry. It turned out marvelous ;). AND my hair was straight. I rarely do my hair straight because my straightener is broken and my hair is naturally wavy. It takes so long, but I know it's Cliftons favorite. He wore his wedding vest as well. We were classy for sure. Right when we got to the Timbermine we were seated. Righteous! Each table and booth has it's own lighting so people can totally turn the lights out and make out in the corner and no one would even know or care. It's just nice and private like that. Not that we made out in our booth or anything. No. Definitely not. Gross.
After our incredible dinner we went home and finally made love. I wanted to yesterday, but we were so tired. We put in Transformers which I've never seen and cuddled in bed. It was perfect. I'm grateful for Valentines day. Me and Clifton loved yesterday and today so much that we made a new tradition. Every Valentines we will do something really special for each other. One of us the day before, and one of us the day of. I'm really excited for that. I believe that acts of love and kindness should be done throughout the year, which is perhaps why I didn't plan anything special for Valentines. But I'm grateful for the opportunity and excuse to really go all out for the one I love and have him do the same for me. Today and yesterday were honestly the best 2 days of my life :).
Sunday, February 13, 2011
Cliftons selflessness
Today Clifton and Andrew had something special planned for me and Toria since we all work opposite schedules tomorrow (boys work night, girls work day. boo). They left the house and while we were waiting for them to get everything set up Me and Toria baked cupcakes and cookies to deliver for Valentines. We had no idea what they were doing for us but one guess was a scavenger hunt. At one point while we were waiting the boys texted us and told us not to peek. Obviously this made my curiosity go into overdrive. So I ran to Andrews room and peeked. Shame on me, I know. First I didn't see anything, but then I noticed some bags. So I casually looked in one and saw chicken and bread. Yeah they were gonna make us dinner; that was a given. I left the room without really looking in the other bags because I figured they were all dinner supplies.
Two hours after leaving the house, the boys finally got back. I blurted out that I peeked and Clifton got so upset. He stormed out of the room and said I ruined everything. He worked so hard and was so excited to see my face when he surprised me with whatever he had planned and I had completely spoiled that for him. I felt horrible. I realized then that I have been pretty selfish in our relationship. I put my curiosity and own wants before him and his feelings and he made me notice that today. I mean I feel like we have been equally giving but that's not true. He is always more willing to do anything for me than I am for him and it's not because I love him any less. I am just more selfish, and he is and always has been incredibly selfless. We talked and worked things out and after some crying and apologizing he gave me a piece of paper. This paper had a clue on it. Yep, Toria and I were going on a scavenger hunt; called it!
Each clue was for either me or her and they all led to significant places in our relationships with the guys. First time I met Clifton. First time she and Andrew decided to be official. The place we went when Clifton got his first speeding ticket. Andrew's first ballet. There were 12 clues, 12 places, in all. We loved the work the boys went through for us and the scavenger hunt was insanely fun, but after two hours we just wanted to spend some time with our babes! After quite a few clues we were led back to my house. It had already been two hours and we felt certain it was the last destination so we were getting excited (and super hungry) to see what the guys had waiting. We were driving by my neighbors house when we saw that Cliftons car was gone. Great. Our hearts sunk and we did not want to go to anymore places. We just wanted to make out with our men and eat some dinner!
Toria and I walked through the door and were so surprised to see Clifton and Andrew standing there in the middle of a rose-covered floor. I can't even say how happy I was and how genuinely surprised. It's really hard to completely surprise me but Clifton pulled it off brilliantly. Toria and Andrew exchanged their gifts and Clifton gave me his. Big gulp. Yep, I decided not to really do anything for my babe. I figured I do lots of cute and caring things for him anyways that I'd just let Valentines be my day. Wow I'm a jerk. Especially since Clifton wrote me a love poem. BIG DEAL. When we first started dating he promised he'd give me a love poem for my birthday but it never happened. I was informed then that he was terrible at expressing his feelings and didn't like to on paper. I casually brought it up a few weeks ago but totally didn't expect anything. I had already been disappointed that he broke his promise and accepted the fact that I would never get a love poem from the most important man in my life. I read the short poem and almost started crying. When I asked Clifton why he did that he said he promised me he'd write a poem. It was the sweetest thing in the world.
After all the gushing we finally ate and man was it good. Since I don't have an actual table, we used the coffee table and sat on floor pillows; it actually was a lot more intimate and romantic and I loved it. It wasn't awkward at all having another couple with us either. For some reason I thought it would be. After dinner we had root beer floats and watched Charlie Browns Valentines. We all ended up falling asleep. It was a tiring and wonderful day. I love Clifton for going all out for me and making me feel special. I'm grateful for how selfless he is.
Two hours after leaving the house, the boys finally got back. I blurted out that I peeked and Clifton got so upset. He stormed out of the room and said I ruined everything. He worked so hard and was so excited to see my face when he surprised me with whatever he had planned and I had completely spoiled that for him. I felt horrible. I realized then that I have been pretty selfish in our relationship. I put my curiosity and own wants before him and his feelings and he made me notice that today. I mean I feel like we have been equally giving but that's not true. He is always more willing to do anything for me than I am for him and it's not because I love him any less. I am just more selfish, and he is and always has been incredibly selfless. We talked and worked things out and after some crying and apologizing he gave me a piece of paper. This paper had a clue on it. Yep, Toria and I were going on a scavenger hunt; called it!
Each clue was for either me or her and they all led to significant places in our relationships with the guys. First time I met Clifton. First time she and Andrew decided to be official. The place we went when Clifton got his first speeding ticket. Andrew's first ballet. There were 12 clues, 12 places, in all. We loved the work the boys went through for us and the scavenger hunt was insanely fun, but after two hours we just wanted to spend some time with our babes! After quite a few clues we were led back to my house. It had already been two hours and we felt certain it was the last destination so we were getting excited (and super hungry) to see what the guys had waiting. We were driving by my neighbors house when we saw that Cliftons car was gone. Great. Our hearts sunk and we did not want to go to anymore places. We just wanted to make out with our men and eat some dinner!
Toria and I walked through the door and were so surprised to see Clifton and Andrew standing there in the middle of a rose-covered floor. I can't even say how happy I was and how genuinely surprised. It's really hard to completely surprise me but Clifton pulled it off brilliantly. Toria and Andrew exchanged their gifts and Clifton gave me his. Big gulp. Yep, I decided not to really do anything for my babe. I figured I do lots of cute and caring things for him anyways that I'd just let Valentines be my day. Wow I'm a jerk. Especially since Clifton wrote me a love poem. BIG DEAL. When we first started dating he promised he'd give me a love poem for my birthday but it never happened. I was informed then that he was terrible at expressing his feelings and didn't like to on paper. I casually brought it up a few weeks ago but totally didn't expect anything. I had already been disappointed that he broke his promise and accepted the fact that I would never get a love poem from the most important man in my life. I read the short poem and almost started crying. When I asked Clifton why he did that he said he promised me he'd write a poem. It was the sweetest thing in the world.
After all the gushing we finally ate and man was it good. Since I don't have an actual table, we used the coffee table and sat on floor pillows; it actually was a lot more intimate and romantic and I loved it. It wasn't awkward at all having another couple with us either. For some reason I thought it would be. After dinner we had root beer floats and watched Charlie Browns Valentines. We all ended up falling asleep. It was a tiring and wonderful day. I love Clifton for going all out for me and making me feel special. I'm grateful for how selfless he is.
Place: Where we went after Cliftons first speeding ticket.
Photo Assignment: Picture of me speeding.
Place: Andrews first ballet.
Photo Assignment: Picture doing the egyptian (that's the name of the dance right?)
Bein crazy at the park :P
Place: Andrew and Torias first kiss.
Photo Assignment: Picture on the playground.
We were so angry we were hitting every stop light. We just wanted to get to the next destination!
Our surprise dinner.
Me and Toria with our clues and flowers. And Cliftons gross arm ;D
:)
Tender
Our lovely Valentines Day date :]
Saturday, February 12, 2011
Friday, February 11, 2011
Organizing
Oh man today we FINALLY cleaned our room and the kitchen and our house is so happy now! I love organizing. Even though I may be a little messy, especially in reguards to my room, I still love it. Sometimes I keep things ridiculously cluttered just so that it'll be more challenging for me to organize later. Cause really, I rock at organizing.
Thursday, February 10, 2011
True friends
Lately I've been thinking a LOT about what a true friend is. It's different for each person. With everything that's been going on with Friend F and going to breakfast with one of my dearest friends this morning I've become really grateful for those rare and true friends. Here are some people in my life who have been a true friend to me, and why.
This is Mindy Cope (she meant to look emo :P).
She was the YW president my last 2 years in Young Woman's and I freaking adore her! She is definitely in the top 3 of people in my life that have made the greatest impact on me.
A true friend is consistent.
She's always been there for me. Even when I was making stupid choices. She was consistent in who she was and what she expected of me; which was to live to my full potential. She said it was ok for me to wander a little bit because I'd grow and learn but she also said how important it was for me to make it back. Stronger and more sure than ever. She was consistent in the way she felt. She didn't decide to drop me because I was being silly. She's always made sure I know how much she loves me and that she'll always be there for me. NO MATTER WHAT. I love her for who she is and all that she's shown me. She is full of life and understanding. Everyone in my YW's loved her too and she loved all of them. She found a way to connect to each girl and she treated us all equally to each other and to her. That is a big freakin deal to me. It's hard to connect with people of different generations and even harder to view everyone equally like she did.
She has the true love of Christ.
Meet David Whitmore.
I met this crazy kid my first year at Snow College and we still talk like no time has passed even though it's been 4 years since living in the same city (whoa, it's weird to think it's been that long).
A true friend is inspiring.
This guy is so crazy! He is so funny and loves life so much. He's like a little happy puppy dog that is just happy when someone says hello to him. He knows who he is and he is focused on serving others and improving his life. Dave is constantly making goals and meeting them and he is so disciplined (unless it has to do with school...sometimes he gets sidetracked :P). He is one of those guys that make you feel good. He loves you for you. He accepts everything you are while still motivating you somehow to do better. I think it's really important for a friend to be inspiring like that. It's fine having friends that only do the bare minimum, but after a lifetime of that what do you have to show for it? What's the point after so long?
A few months ago while we were talking he mentioned how he was tired of always doing the work of contacting friends. He hadn't spoken to a few people in so long and didn't really care to if they weren't willing to contact him either. Hearing him say that made me so sad. He's never been like that and it made me realize he's human and has needs as well. But what would Christ do?
Trust me, it didn't make me think less of him. But it made me sad. Because I absolutely suck at staying in contact with people. It doesn't mean I like them less, it just means I am genuinely bad at writing and calling my friends and even my own dad in Alabama. It's something I really admired in him. I still admire him more than he'll ever know and I don't know what his view on the whole thing is now since it's been awhile. But I appreciate him supporting me and loving me and being honest. I am grateful for how he has inspired me and I am grateful for his testimony of the restored gospel.
He has the true love of Christ.
Two-in-One: Andrew Cheever and Victoria Hackett
My husband has been good friends with Andrew (Monkee) for quite a few years. His girl Toria (Scooter) actually dated a mutual friend before she got together with Monkee. Andrew has lived with us since November so we've gotten pretty close to both of them and hang out/double with them frequently.
A true friend doesn't gossip.
Both Monkee and Scooter are great friends. They don't take sides during arguments, and they especially don't gossip. This one has become a huge one for me. Last year I gossiped a lot more than I would like. A LOT more. To me, gossip is talking about someone without their knowledge or presence. Whether good or bad, it's still gossip. And most of the time if someone says something good behind your back, they tell you later so that isn't really considered gossip. Rarely does that happen when it's negative. I've noticed it's a few select friends of mine that bring out the gossip in me; because they are gossip royalty. Nearly every conversation consists of someone else. I've said something twice about how we need to be nice and stop talking like that, but it hasn't really changed. Since I haven't been around them for awhile, my gossip has gone down. Especially with being around Monkee and Toria so much. They love people and I have never heard them gossip. Maybe a short sentence of venting once a month, but seriously. I love how great they are about not talking bad about people! It really shows the strength of who they are and it makes me be stronger.
Just to clarify a little, I do gossip with my husband. I think that is important. I think it's important to be able to talk to him about everything on my mind and get his advice and thoughts and overall calming effect. But we don't gossip that much anymore. We want to remain focused on the positive and truthful in everything we do. I'm extremely open so I've made a strong effort to not say anything about someone that I wouldn't be willing to say to them.
That's beside the point. The point is, these two are great friends and they are so full of optimism and happiness and love for life.
They have the true love of Christ.
This is one of my oldest friends, Spencer Shupe aka Spuddy.
We met in 7th grade English class. We had seats next to each other and the first thing I remember him ever saying is "Do I stink? I just came from gym and my armpits are sweating way bad." Hahaha! I was in love right then :D. What kind of self-conscious 7th grader admits to farting or sweating or anything like that?! We don't talk very much anymore, but he is still one of my best friends.
A true friend is fun.
I'm not saying to party all the time, but it sucks being around people that are so serious all the time. I just wanna shake them and say "lighten up! Life is funny!" Me and Spuddy have had so many good times! He's so much fun. He loves life and he's confident in who he is and makes normally painful things not as hurtful. There was one night in particular I'm thinking of when I say that, and he was supportive as I was unloading my issues on him. He didn't freak out, and he wasn't dismissing my feelings. He got out a scripture to share with me and that is now one of my all time favorites verses. He turned the conversation into something so positive and enjoyable.
We also used to go country swing dancing every single week. We had a blast! He is the one guy I can actually dance with (probably sounds inappropriate but it's not and I love dancing with Clifton too--he just needs a little practice hehe). Spuddy looks on the brighter side of life and understands how important it is to enjoy it and take it as it comes instead of worrying all the time or letting things get to him. I love all the memories we have together and how fun he made my teenage years.
He has the true love of Christ.
Of course my husband Clifton, and our late friend Chris Swabsky.
Swabsky and Clifton went to school together which is how I knew him. He passed away a few months ago and we both still miss him a lot because he was SUCH a great friend.
A true friend is selfless and kind.My husband is such a great friend. He's never really back stabbed, badmouthed, or blown up at someone. Even if he doesn't really like someone, he'll still hang out with them instead of making them feel like crap by being rude or avoiding them. He never picks sides in a fight. Clifton has always been the kind of guy to put others first. Same with Swabsky. It's like that song by Tracy Lawrence (listen to it here)..."You find out who you're friends are, some body's gonna drop everything. Run out and crank up their car, hit the gas, get there fast, never stop to think 'what's in it for me' or 'it's way too far'. They just show on up with their big old hearts."
Swabsky had such a big heart. He cared so much about people and his friends. He was always polite and careful not to offend anyone. He was so sweet and giving. It doesn't matter whether it's the only present Clifton got for his birthday, or whether he helped us move in. He just gave so much of himself.
They have the true love of Christ.
Hola James Tolman!
This guy was my Shift Manager at Fatcats and I loved working with him! He is actually the one that introduced me to and set me up with his best friend Clifton Saunders. He's been through a lot and remains so positive.
A true friend is loyal and forgiving.
James once had a buddy that lived with him. This buddy hooked up with the girl James was in a serious relationship with for almost two years. The hookup happened about two weeks after she broke up with him but she wasn't honest about her relationship with his buddy until two months after. This was devastating for James as it would be for anyone else. Obviously there were lots of painful feelings. He has forgiven them both and moved on with his life. He remains loyal to his friends and would never do something like that. He sticks up for his friends and is a great mediator for all.
I was mad at the girl that broke up with him for how she handled things and I tore her apart. We spoke for the first time in a year a few months ago and are now great friends. Her forgiveness for my stupidity is refreshing. I am so grateful for these amazing examples of forgiveness and I think it's incredibly important in any relationship. I look up to James and his positive outlook on life despite his hardships.
He has the true love of Christ.
There have been other friends who have influenced me and shown me what it is to be a truly great friend. These ones I feel have taught me the most. Aside from my siblings that is. But that's another blog, for another time :).
The point is, I think a true friend doesn't let you forget who you are and what you stand for. And if you forget anyways, they're always there to give you a hand and share their heart. That's what I'm grateful for today. Honest-to-goodness, genuinely great friends.
Wednesday, February 9, 2011
Working days
I've been moved to working days and it's bittersweet for me. It's extremely hard not spending as much time with my one and only love. But working days has forced us both to go to bed earlier most nights and not sleep in as long and even though I hate waking up, I know it's a healthier routine. Working days also allows me to have the rest of the day with no obligations to anything and just do whatever I want to do. I love that part.
Tuesday, February 8, 2011
FREE stuff!
Holy smokes today ROCKED! I was just laying in bed when Clifton came home from work; with him he had an amazing surprise. A huge box of crap from the mall. Yay! That's the only up-side to him working at the mall.
Security jobs are the worst. Many of my family members were in the security business and every single one of them got unjustly screwed over and over again. It's just a bad job to be in for the most part. Not for everyone, but for everyone I've known. We're happy with him having a good paying job; but we're keeping our eyes open and will hopefully get him into firefighter school soon.
Anyway he was doing the exterior detex by the dumpster when an employee was throwing the box away and so he asked for it without even knowing the contents. Turns out, the box was full of Hot Topic clothing, shoes, and piercings. Haha awesome. I'm not a big fan of Hot Topic, but it was so much fun going through the only slightly damaged items and keeping the majority of it. A cute dress, lingerie (that someone a little too big tried to squeeze into haha), Gothic yet stylish heals, skinny jeans, and multiple shirts. The piercings and other unwanted item are going to my sisters to dig through.
He also brought home the biggest pizza box I've ever seen and it was full of pizza and bread sticks from Sbarro Pizzeria. Yummo.
I love free stuff. It doesn't even matter what it is...before I started wearing bikinis I won one at a 5k and even though I didn't keep it, the free article was equally exciting for me. I once got a small sample of deodorant in the mail. My mom went dumpster diving all the time in college and once ended up with a set of hot curlers that she kept for about 25 years (yes, those are the curlers she used in my hair and they were perfectly fine). It's fun winning stuff, it's adventurous using your resources and dumpster diving, it's even awesome being sent free junk for promotional products. No matter what form it comes in or what the object is, getting free stuff is always the best and I'm grateful for it.
Security jobs are the worst. Many of my family members were in the security business and every single one of them got unjustly screwed over and over again. It's just a bad job to be in for the most part. Not for everyone, but for everyone I've known. We're happy with him having a good paying job; but we're keeping our eyes open and will hopefully get him into firefighter school soon.
Anyway he was doing the exterior detex by the dumpster when an employee was throwing the box away and so he asked for it without even knowing the contents. Turns out, the box was full of Hot Topic clothing, shoes, and piercings. Haha awesome. I'm not a big fan of Hot Topic, but it was so much fun going through the only slightly damaged items and keeping the majority of it. A cute dress, lingerie (that someone a little too big tried to squeeze into haha), Gothic yet stylish heals, skinny jeans, and multiple shirts. The piercings and other unwanted item are going to my sisters to dig through.
He also brought home the biggest pizza box I've ever seen and it was full of pizza and bread sticks from Sbarro Pizzeria. Yummo.
I love free stuff. It doesn't even matter what it is...before I started wearing bikinis I won one at a 5k and even though I didn't keep it, the free article was equally exciting for me. I once got a small sample of deodorant in the mail. My mom went dumpster diving all the time in college and once ended up with a set of hot curlers that she kept for about 25 years (yes, those are the curlers she used in my hair and they were perfectly fine). It's fun winning stuff, it's adventurous using your resources and dumpster diving, it's even awesome being sent free junk for promotional products. No matter what form it comes in or what the object is, getting free stuff is always the best and I'm grateful for it.
Monday, February 7, 2011
Sunday, February 6, 2011
Advice
I'm grateful for advice.
Clifton gives such great advice.
I love just talking with him all the time.
There's still that one...issue with Friend F.
She decided to write me off entirely.
WTF?
I understand maybe not being friends with an ex that you need to get over.
And I understand maybe not hanging out with people that bring you down.
But from being "best friends" to all of a sudden "let's be the kind of friends that are only cordial at social events"?
Really?
The whole thing got to that point because of mis-communications.
Hers and mine as well.
Because we've only been emailing!
Anyways there's a few options I have and I've been thinking about it for days.
Praying for help, for clarity, for faith.
I feel like my natural man is getting in the way.
Or maybe it's my instinct.
Either way, I know this confusing feeling I have isn't a good thing.
So for now, I'm leaving things be.
We talked...sorry, I mean texted...the day after she wrote me off and we "worked things out".
Again.
But the way she's been talking, she's fine without me.
And her actions have definitely backed that up.
So I'm going to continue praying and thinking and getting wonderful advice from my husband.
Until I am confident in a decision.
Then we will see.
Clifton gives such great advice.
I love just talking with him all the time.
There's still that one...issue with Friend F.
She decided to write me off entirely.
WTF?
I understand maybe not being friends with an ex that you need to get over.
And I understand maybe not hanging out with people that bring you down.
But from being "best friends" to all of a sudden "let's be the kind of friends that are only cordial at social events"?
Really?
The whole thing got to that point because of mis-communications.
Hers and mine as well.
Because we've only been emailing!
Anyways there's a few options I have and I've been thinking about it for days.
Praying for help, for clarity, for faith.
I feel like my natural man is getting in the way.
Or maybe it's my instinct.
Either way, I know this confusing feeling I have isn't a good thing.
So for now, I'm leaving things be.
We talked...sorry, I mean texted...the day after she wrote me off and we "worked things out".
Again.
But the way she's been talking, she's fine without me.
And her actions have definitely backed that up.
So I'm going to continue praying and thinking and getting wonderful advice from my husband.
Until I am confident in a decision.
Then we will see.
Saturday, February 5, 2011
Circadian rhythm
I am grateful for circadian rhythm. If you don't know what that is...it's basically your biological clock. No matter how much sleep I get or how late I sleep in, if I have to wake up to an alarm I am ornery. Not for the whole day, but it definitely doesn't help my day. I get over it within 1/2 hour or sooner. That's precisely why I'm grateful for the mornings I wake up naturally. It makes things much more wonderful for me.
Friday, February 4, 2011
Cliftons patience
Growing up, it was rare that we would have a meal without the vegetables being burned. I'd often come home to a smoke-filled kitchen. My mom is a great cook; she is just forgetful. She'll get the food started and then multi-task and somewhere amidst all the multi-tasking the vegetables got left to burn.
Unfortunately, I'm the same. Some people mistake it for stupidity or being ditzy, but I just get so distracted. My mind is constantly going and I'm always thinking and taking everything in. Naturally things are bound to get forgotten. Actually I have a really good memory and people tell me that quite often, but it's only a good memory if I mentally tell myself to remember. You'd think I would have learned by now to tell myself not to forget my keys or wallet or phone; clearly I have not learned.
Today alone I have misplaced or forgotten my phone twice, Cliftons keys, $40, my phone charger, and jacket. I'm so grateful I can count on Clifton to help me find things or remember where I placed them. It's a normal routine for us, but I really get sick of it. It makes me feel ridiculous and insane. Clifton always remains patient with me and it's fun to joke about my crazy brain and I'm grateful for that :).
Unfortunately, I'm the same. Some people mistake it for stupidity or being ditzy, but I just get so distracted. My mind is constantly going and I'm always thinking and taking everything in. Naturally things are bound to get forgotten. Actually I have a really good memory and people tell me that quite often, but it's only a good memory if I mentally tell myself to remember. You'd think I would have learned by now to tell myself not to forget my keys or wallet or phone; clearly I have not learned.
Today alone I have misplaced or forgotten my phone twice, Cliftons keys, $40, my phone charger, and jacket. I'm so grateful I can count on Clifton to help me find things or remember where I placed them. It's a normal routine for us, but I really get sick of it. It makes me feel ridiculous and insane. Clifton always remains patient with me and it's fun to joke about my crazy brain and I'm grateful for that :).
Thursday, February 3, 2011
Bed
When me and Clifton were first engaged one of the most worrisome things was getting our hands on a bed. Cause come on now. They're expensive for poor people haha. My little brother gave me his queen size mattress and frame that used to belong to my mom and I am so grateful for it. It's so comfortable and it was wonderful tonight after work to spend some time by myself just laying in bed watching Batman. Christian Bale is so hot.
Wednesday, February 2, 2011
My conscience
You wanna know a secret? I used to be a klepto.
It all started 3 years ago on Halloween.
My family went to TGIF's and as we were leaving my little sister, Kari, saw a Pikachu figurine she wanted.
I stole it for her.
She's been the klepto in our family actually.
We have so many pitchers, silverware, and dishes that belong to restaurants because of her teehee.
It was exciting to steal that little object that held no importance.
Since then I've stolen toilet paper, cups, silverware, dishes, shoes, office supplies, etc.
Never ever from a store.
But from businesses.
The bowling alley, Denny's. You get the point.
They're more like souvenirs for me.
Since me and Clifton are trying to be better and live the commandments I decided to stop.
So I returned some things.
No, I'm not going to return the salt shaker to the Mayan.
That holds great memories.
I'm grateful for this change though.
Today at work I got a footlong sub (yes. I work at Blimpie) and ate a cookie.
I TOTALLY could have gotten away with not paying!
Trust me. With how tight money is I was tempted.
My conscience would not allow it though.
So I paid for all of it.
Call it a conscience, call it the Holy Ghost. I don't care.
I'm grateful for it :]
Tuesday, February 1, 2011
Answered Prayers
Today started out as a really dumb day. I'm on my period, I had to leave my husband sleeping which I hate, it's freezing, and this girl I work with is lame. I was walking home in zero degree weather and it was WINDY! OK. Now I love nature. I even love natural disasters. It's amazing to me the things that God can do and weather anomalies are so fascinating. I love all weather; except wind. I hate how it always seems to be pushing against me when I run. I hate how it always messes with my hair and makes me look so dumb while walking. I hate how it nearly blows me into traffic. I hate that it always makes things a gazillion times colder. I can usually look to the positive side and I enjoy a large number of things, but the wind is one thing that takes me down in less than a second. I loathe the wind. Yes I could definitely change my perspective on it, but I think it's a good thing to not love everything ;P.
Anyway, I was walking home freezing my ears off and the wind was just slowing me down. The wind was scratching my face and blowing my hood off so that my ears had no chance staying even luke-warm. I was miserable. I was thinking about what I was grateful for that day and nothing came to mind. I prayed that the 1/2 walk home would go by faster but it was kind of a mindless prayer; one of those you desperately hope will happen but don't really see how. Kind of like praying for a million dollars the next day. I was about 10 minutes from my house still thinking of things I could be grateful for when this lady stopped her truck and asked me for a ride home. What! Are you kidding me? I told her I was almost home but she insisted. Of course I hopped in her truck! What would be the point in praying for something but ignoring the answer when it arrives? Most people would say no and normally I would as well. I was crazed from the windy cold. We talked with each other a little bit and she was such a sweet lady. I am so grateful for her. Even though it was such a tiny thing, I am grateful to know my Father in Heaven loves so much to give me a tender mercy from the Lord. I didn't need a ride home. But what I learned was valuable and I'm grateful God gave me the lesson. I know that God answers all our prayers. It's not always in our ways or our time, but they are always answered. I feel that if I would have said no to the ride and just acknowledged my prayer was answered it would not have been good enough. I would not have truly been grateful if I passed up that ride and I know that. And I am truly grateful.
I'm not saying that the Lord may not give you his tender mercies because I know He does. I would not have recognized the tender mercy and the answered prayer if I was not spiritually uplifted every day by praying and reading the Book of Mormon with my spouse. I am grateful for that. Are you able to recognize when the Lord God is showing His love to you?
Anyway, I was walking home freezing my ears off and the wind was just slowing me down. The wind was scratching my face and blowing my hood off so that my ears had no chance staying even luke-warm. I was miserable. I was thinking about what I was grateful for that day and nothing came to mind. I prayed that the 1/2 walk home would go by faster but it was kind of a mindless prayer; one of those you desperately hope will happen but don't really see how. Kind of like praying for a million dollars the next day. I was about 10 minutes from my house still thinking of things I could be grateful for when this lady stopped her truck and asked me for a ride home. What! Are you kidding me? I told her I was almost home but she insisted. Of course I hopped in her truck! What would be the point in praying for something but ignoring the answer when it arrives? Most people would say no and normally I would as well. I was crazed from the windy cold. We talked with each other a little bit and she was such a sweet lady. I am so grateful for her. Even though it was such a tiny thing, I am grateful to know my Father in Heaven loves so much to give me a tender mercy from the Lord. I didn't need a ride home. But what I learned was valuable and I'm grateful God gave me the lesson. I know that God answers all our prayers. It's not always in our ways or our time, but they are always answered. I feel that if I would have said no to the ride and just acknowledged my prayer was answered it would not have been good enough. I would not have truly been grateful if I passed up that ride and I know that. And I am truly grateful.
I'm not saying that the Lord may not give you his tender mercies because I know He does. I would not have recognized the tender mercy and the answered prayer if I was not spiritually uplifted every day by praying and reading the Book of Mormon with my spouse. I am grateful for that. Are you able to recognize when the Lord God is showing His love to you?
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