Today I did something so stupid. I shouldn't have done it and I completely know better. I gave in to my human wants instead of my spiritual needs and I am so mad at myself for it. But somehow when I told Clifton it made things better. I think no matter how stupid we are, we can always pull through things and get past our stupidity as long as we're honest with each other. I think most of the time people get hurt or angry not because someone did something hurtful, but because they weren't honest about it. Either they waited too long to confess, or didn't even say anything until the person they hurt found out. Obviously there are hurtful things out there. But I just thing being completely open and honest makes things hurt a lot less. It's wonderful having someone I can completely trust with my heart. After I told him he actually thought it was no big deal. Maybe it was, but to me it wasn't. Clifton deserves the truth no matter how hard it is to say. He is my one and only and deceiving him in any way is completely out of the question now. I cheated on him when we first started dating and I am continually impressed that he has forgiven me. I know now that I do not want to jeopardize this wonderful relationship in my life in any way. I think it's cheesy when people say they need someone in their life; I think it's cheesy when people say they don't need someone in their life because they can still survive without that person. But guys. I do need Clifton in my life. Every once and awhile I play the worst-case-scenario game in my head and it physically hurts me to think about my life without Clifton. If he had not chosen to love me for all that I am I don't know if I ever would have been able to live up to my full potential. I know that God is always there for me, but we as humans do need each other to make it through this life. We need love, support, understanding, and acceptance. "What are we here for, if not to make life easier for each other?"
Sorry, I kind of strayed from my original topic. We owe each other honesty. It's pointless to lie. Lying is purposefully deceiving someone. So if you choose to leave a few details out, or not say all you know about the situation, or perhaps lead someone on to believe something else; you are lying. It's a mean mind game and does absolutely no good. I'm grateful for the people that respect me enough to be completely honest. They know my worth. Everyone deserves honesty in their lives. I'm grateful for Clifton and the honesty he brings into my life.
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