Infertility

Ok I am not grateful for infertility, but I wasn't really sure what else to label this post.  I am grateful for the women that have to suffer from infertility and the understanding they give to me.  Here is a blog you should definitely check out to become educated.  It just makes my heart hurt for women like this and I wish I could do something to make it all better.  This woman is so strong.  I would've gone crazy after year one.  Cliftons sister can't conceive either, and I admire her so much.  She is so strong too.  I am grateful for their strength.

http://myinfertilelifeunedited.blogspot.com/2011/04/just-relax-and-youll-get-pregnant.html?showComment=1304213208552#c4481009613600478254

ICE CREAM

I love vanilla ice cream.  Me and Clifton were on our way to his parents and I wanted him to stop by Mini Mart to get me a $1 ice cream.  It's the best value.  EVER.  They fill a 16 oz cup with ice cream and throw a cone on top.  It's genius.  So I was craving ice cream way bad and just needed him to stop by and get me some.  On the way to his parents we started talking about nature vs. nurture for some reason and we were in a very involved conversation and debate.

And we forgot about the ice cream.

Clifton needed to get to work, but I'm telling you I needed that ice cream.  It was exactly like the incidence with Taco Bell and the chips.  That's right.  I went to crazy town and started crying when we got to his parents.  You may think that I am so high maintenance and a spoiled brat cry baby and I push my husband around.  But really none of that is true.  I don't know how to explain it, but I've been focusing on my health lately which has made my appetites skilompis lately.  Plus I'm on my monthly cycle.  Which IS a completely valid excuse, because hormones do their own thing then.  I treat Clifton with love and respect, and he is so good to me.  In fact when I started crying he wasn't going to take me to get ice cream.  I kept on crying and was ready to get out of the car when Clifton sped out of the driveway.  I would've been fine without the ice cream.  I would've been able to buck up and deal with it.  But my husband is so sweet and will do anything for me.  Because of that I need to be careful about what I say and I do feel a little demanding at times, but I really do appreciate that sweet man.

And I love my vanilla ice cream.

Orange

You know, the color  orange                                              really is underappreciated.                                             I did both my                                               bathrooms orange and I think they are                          my favorite rooms.  I think                                         it's now my favorite color too.                                  Power to the orange.













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Weddings

I don't think I've posted my wedding photos!  Gosh.  Today I'm grateful for weddings.  My friend Marissa just got engaged and I am stoked for her!  She called today and I loved being able to give my input on how my wedding was done and how to plan in general and advice on just about everything.  I know she won't do everything I say which is more than ok since it is her wedding and will be perfect for her, but it was still way fun for me to share my thoughts about the wedding scene and my "knowledge".

Raises

See kids?  That's why you pay tithing.  Good things happen.  Like getting a raise.  Yeah buddy.

Fugitive

Tonight I played fugitive for the first time in 2 years.  Fugitive is an awesome night game that is also known as Rambo, Cops & Robbers, etc.  It's pretty much a massive hide and go seek game for adults.  I've won every single time I've played.  Until tonight.  Suck.  We played in teams and Aaron was my teammate.  I was convinced we'd do great.  But apparently I am now horrible at the game, because I got me and Aaron caught both times we played.  It'd be alright if we got a chance to really play, but I got us cause right at the start!  Fail.  I'm grateful for the game though, it is such a freaking blast.

Weird traditions & Easter

I LOVE HOLIDAYS!  All of them.  When me and Clifton first started dating, he told me his family did a huge easter egg hunt in the cemetery.  That's right.  It's so dark and twisty, which is perhaps why I love it so much.  Although I will admit this year some people were actually visiting a gravesite right where our egg hunt was taking place and that made me feel way bad.  So I tried not to make eye contact and searched elsewhere.  Turned out pretty good.  The other team couldn't find 3 eggs, all of which I hid so go me!

Lawn mowers

My blog has felt very boring lately.  I enjoy it and I don't care too much if anyone else does, I just feel like I need to zing it up a little more.  So here's the lawn mower dance I thoroughly enjoyed.  I hope you do too.

Today I'm so grateful for lawn mowers.  I really love mowing the lawn, and doing yard work in general.  I've never actually hated it.  I think it's weird when people hate it.  It's nice being outside improving the exterior of your home!  One of the requirements of our trailer park is to have an upkept lawn.  If we don't we get fined by the park.  Last year I'm actually way surprised we didn't get one; our lawn was practically dead and we rarely mowed it.  It became a hassle driving all the way to Cliftons parents' house, load the mower, drive back, unload and mow, then just haul it back to his parents.  Huge pain.  But as I mentioned before my parents just sold their house and got rid of a lot of crap.  Old lawn mower being one treasure we received.  Score!  I love it.  Besides all of that, is there honestly anyone that hates waking up to the sound of a lawn mower?  Or the smell of freshly mowed grass?  Or the feel of the new softness of cut lawn?  Didn't think so :]

Cookies

That's about all I have to say about that.
PS I have the biggest fattest sweet tooth on the planet.
Curses.

Mindy

I love Mindy!!!  She took me out to breakfast today and we just had a blast talking in her car for forever.  Go here to read more about my dear friend.  I'm so grateful for her and everything she's taught me.  I wish I would've taken her advice a little more when I got to college but it's ok that I didn't because I learned the lessons I needed to anyway.

Overcoming problems

Sometimes my life is hilarious.
Today at work we were pretty slow.
So of course the moment my other coworker left for the day and I was by myself, I got extremely busy.
I hate that.
I had a good size line and I got down to the last group of four girls.
As I was getting ready to help them a customer told me the soda machine wouldn't stop.
I looked over and sure enough, the pink lemonade kept pouring out even though no one was pressing the button.
If it was just a little drip I would have left it.
But it was coming out full on!
The liquid wasn't draining quickly enough so I had to grab a pitcher and fill that up while I called my manager.
She told me to take the top of the pink lemonade lid off and pour warm water on it.
That didn't work, so she told me to just keep an eye on it.
Are you kidding me?!

I looked at the machine, and disconnected the pink lemonade, fixing the problem.
Now this may sound like a small thing, but it was actually pretty awesome.
I was so proud of myself for fixing a problem quickly and effectively under pressure without any knowledge about it.
At first when the pink lemonade wouldn't stop coming out I was pretty sure the bevarage station was possessed.

I went back to work and gave those girls free cookies for having to wait for me to finish fixing it.
The point is I'm just awesome.

.crying.

There is something that is always refreshing about crying.

No matter the reason, it is a wonderful emotional release.

I am an avid cryer.

It got to a point where I was crying almost every day.

When I told my mom she wanted to take me to a therapist.

But crying was my therapy.

She thought it wasn't healthy for me to cry that much, but it was.

It would've been unhealthy if I didn't cry every day.

I wasn't necessarily depressed, just a little unstable emotionally.

Things were happening that were giving me all sorts of overwhelming feelings.

So I cried.

Crying really is a beautiful thing, and it's sad when people are too prideful or scared or ashamed to show their tears.

If people don't cry on the outside, they cry on the inside and that can do greater damage.

No matter what I feel, I express it either by laughing or crying.

Laugh too hard and cry.  Get embarrassed and cry.  Have your heart broke and cry.

In my opinion, people that are ok with crying in front of others are beautiful.

"The soul would have no rainbow had the eye no tears" -John Vance Cheney

Naps

Because what better way to spend your afternoon after work?

Teamwork

I am grateful for teamwork.  Today me and Clifton cleaned the house together and we were so in sync.  I loved it.

Trucks

Today we got a bunch of free crap from my mom since she sold the house and won't use it in her new house.  I'm so grateful.  Me and Clifton got all the good stuff, since everyone else is set and doesn't need anything more.  I am grateful for trucks to be able to transfer that awesome furniture to my house.  Plus trucks are just sexy.  Me and Clifton want one so bad so we don't have to keep asking his dad to borrow his truck.  We want to be able to go camping and mudding and to the drive in and move things whenever we want and not have it super squished.  Clifton is obsessed with trucks on KSL.  It's cute.  When we get one we'll go with Chevy or Dodge.  For sure.  Here's some I liked online.

Ok it does not need to be lifted, but this truck is just hot.

We like older trucks.  Once again, we don't care if it's lifted or not.

This kind is our favorite I think.  We dig the Bronco style and the option of a shell, but not on a longer truck.  That's ugly.

I know this isn't technically a truck, but Geo Trackers are my dream car!!!  I am completely serious.  My first car was a geo metro convertible and I will always be in love with Geos.  I miss my barbie car so bad, you don't even know.

Jeeps are sexy too.  One day...

Good communication

It is incredible to me how bad things continue to get in peoples lives because of bad communication.  Oh trust me, I'm as guilty as anyone.  I've misunderstood, passed along faulty information, and neglected to tell someone something.  It happens.  I try my best though and because of that my communication skills have improved; but I believe that is something that everyone will always need to work on for it to remain effective.  I took a communications class in high school and I loved it but that by no means makes me any better at communicationing than anyone else.  Like I said, it's a continual growth.  I had a friend once that minored in communication and thought she was superb at her communication skills because of it; she was not.  She still misunderstood a lot which is something that could have been prevented had she put her learned skills to use.  Here are some steps to effective communication that I can think of and I'm sure are in some pamphlet somewhere:

1.  Listen.  Actively listen to what the person is saying and don't get distracted by things outside of the conversation.  Give input so the person knows you are listening.

2.  Body Language.  Make sure what you are saying is matching what you are doing.  Some people thing actions speak louder than words but I don't believe that anymore.  I think that words need to back up actions just as much as actions need to back up words.  Make eye contact with the person you are conversing with.  Lean towards them instead of away from them, and keep your arms unfolded to appear more open.

3.  Repeat what was said.  I don't mean exactly, but I use this phrase all the time:  "Ok let me make sure I'm understanding this right.  My dogs barking wakes you up in the middle of the night?"  It's always good to make sure you are on the same page as someone.  Even though a phrase is really simple, everyone perceives things differently and it's important to make sure you understand things the way they want you to and not the way you want to.

4.  Use "I" language.  When confronting someone, don't use attacking words.  Try to stay away from "you" statements, otherwise they will get defensive and arguments will arise.  You feel a certain way, but no one but yourself makes you feel that way so take responsibility for it.

5.  Speak up!  When in a conversation or getting directions or at any time, do not be afraid to speak up.  Say what you think, ask questions, and converse WITH the person!  Along with speaking up is letting the other person talk.  No one likes listening to you for hours at a time.  What they have to say is important as well.

6.  Stay person to person.  Do not try handling a problem via email or text.  At the very least talk over the phone, the very best meet in a mutual place that is comfortable for both of you.

7.  Keep things clear and concise and up to date.  Lots of work environments suffer from poor communication because the managers or whoever else failed to pass on valuable information like a change in policy etc.

That's all I can think of/find on the net for now.  Good communication is vital in any good relationship.  It is impossible to have a good relationship with your spouse without good communication.  Nuff said.

Karma

I went to the store to get some food,

I really wasn't in a good mood.

Instead of putting my cart away,

I left it in the road until the first of May.

A teenager crashed into it and broke her arm,

who knew a bad attitude could do such harm?

In June I decided to get my hair cute and cut,

Somehow the stylist made me look like a mutt.

Next thing I know my head is bare,

I thought about it and realized it's pretty fair.

I was careless before and the universe didn't like it,

so it came back and threw some carelessness back at me.

I heart karma.

What goes around comes around.  I promise.

Random acts of kindness

Today on the way home from work another person asked me for a ride home!  So of course I accepted!  It was cold outside.  Her name was Alba and I hope she gets something awesome for giving me a ride home.  I love random acts of kindness.  When I have a better job, I want to be one of those people that tip like 300 bucks at a cheap restaurant.  It's one of my goals in life.  More than once.

Gifts from the heart

Presents have never really mattered so much to me.  Especially if there was no thought put into it.  I can't stand that.  Although I guess it is better than not remembering a birthday at all.  In general though I have been a huge fan of gifts from the heart.  Two years ago for Christmas, Ammon did one of those digital dancing elf gigs with our faces for his present to everyone.  It was BY FAR my favorite!  It just made that Christmas for me, and I'm sure it had the same effect on my other family members.  I try to give from the heart and it's hard when an idea doesn't come instantly to me, because it makes me feel like I'm not a good enough sister or friend.  This year for James' birthday I was going to make a shirt with his symbol on it and I know he would've loved it, but I found out someone else made that for him.  Gross.  It has to be original for me to do it otherwise I'm out.  I finally thought of a personalized photo book (not album, book) of the people he cared about.  He absolutely loved it and I'm so glad.  I get so excited about homemade or well thought out gifts.

Tonight I gave Aaron the mix CD's and he loved them.  He almost started crying as he told me that the other day when all of us were there for him and playing games was the best he's felt in a long time.  He went on to tell me that he has an awesome sound system in his new car, but his radio is messed up so he's really been needing CD's.  YES!  Perfect gift.  I am grateful for gifts from the heart and the impact it actually does have on the majority of people.

Mix CD's

Mix CD's are AWESOME!!!!
I am so excited with the songs I chose.
There are 3 CD's I made for Aaron.
I think my taste in music has gotten a LOT better the past 2 or 3 years.
Check out the playlists.

Angry CD
1.  Anytime-Eve 6
2.  Give Me a Sign- Breaking Benjamin
3.  Back Against the Wall-Cage the Elephant
4.  Headstrong-Trapt
5.  Someday-Flipsyde
6.  The Hardest Part-Coldplay
7.  Break-Three Days Grace
8.  Out of Control-Hoobastank
9.  Falls Apart-Thousand Foot Krutch
10.  Remember the Name-Fort Minor
11.  Throw it all Away-Hollywood Undead
12.  Monster-Skillet
13.  I Don't Care-Apocalyptica
14.  Open Your Eyes-Taking Back Sunday???
15.  Unbreakable-Fireflight
16.  Animal-Three Days Grace
17.  Slow Burn-Atreyu
18.  Hear Me Now-Hollywood Undead
19.  Into the Ocean-Blue October

Chill (Clifton says depressing but don't listen to him) CD
1.  Brand New Day-Joshua Radin
2.  Lifeline-Mat Kearney
3.  Get it Right-Glee Cast
4.  Wreck of the Day-Anna Nalick
5.  Rain-Breaking Benjamin
6.  Fearless-Falling Up
7.  Fix You-Coldplay
8.  I Wasn't Prepared-Eisley
9.  True Colors-Glee Cast
10.  Bleed-Hot Chelle Ray
11.  Down-Jason Walker
12.  Waiting for the End-Linkin Park
13.  Lonely Day-Phantom Planet
14.  Mad World-Donnie Darko
15.  Let Your Troubles Roll By-Carbon Leaf
16.  Angel-Sarah McLachlan

Motivational CD
1.  Tonight-Hot Chelle Ray
2.  Beautiful Day-U2
3.  Keep Holding On-Avril Lavigne
4.  More than Fine-Switchfoot
5.  Love Today-Mika
6.  Move Along-All American Rejects
7.  Cleveland Rocks-PUSA
8.  If You're Going Through Hell-Rodney Atkins
9.  Be Ok-Ingrid Michaelson
10.  I Just Wanna Run-The Downtown Fiction
11.  Given the Chance-The Starting Line
12.  Stand-Rascal Flatts
13.  Over the Rainbow-IZ
14.  You are Loved-Josh Groban
15.  Heartbreak Warfare-John Mayer
16.  Brand New Day-Fireflight
17.  Loser Like Me-Glee Cast
18.  What is Love-Haddaway

MUSIC

Finally.  The music post.  I am so grateful for music.  I played the cello for 8 years and I loved it.  Aaron played the bass, Kari the violin, Kristin sang, Ammon the viola and piano, Shane the guitar, Becky the piano, and mom plays the piano and guitar.  I chose the cello because the bass was too big, everyone did the violin, and the viola looks too much like the violin.  Now when I hear cello music I get ecstatic.  I love every kind of music there is with the exception of death metal...I believe that was created by the devil himself.  Other than that I am extremely easy to please.  I find every kind of music beautiful in its own way.  I love country, rap, gospel, classical, indie, pop, alternative, punk, rock, bluegrass, etc (I can't think of any other names right now).

Music has a way of reaching out to people and allowing them to take emotional baths.  Sounds weird I suppose, but that's what it is.  I see it the same as nature.  There's just something about being out in nature and listening to music that brings a person closer to peace, and closer to God.  Music is language that everyone speaks.  It is what feelings sound like.  Music is a refuge.  It helps people deal with unwanted feelings.  Music uplifts and motivates.  Music understands.  Music is beauty.

Today I am making Aaron some mix CD's to help him through this rough patch and I have the opportunity to listen to even more music than I already do.  Go to www.pandora.com sometime.  It's incredible.

Loyalty

So.  I found out what happened between Aaron and Meg.  Kind of.  Obviously there's a lot I don't know, because like I said before it is not my relationship.  But it just made me think today how grateful I am for loyalty.  As my brother called each sibling to meet at my moms and told us all he asked for a divorce, I became even more grateful for my family.  It was incredible to see the loyalty to my brother.  I don't believe in hating someone just because someone else does, but I do believe in standing up for those you love and taking their side in a way that is healthy and not close minded.  Each sibling supported Aaron with no question, because it was the decision that would be the in the long run.  Clearly things are still really hard right now, but he will be happy again.

I'm grateful for the loyalty my husband gives me and I give him.  I know he will never wander, because it's against his nature and his whole belief system.  I get freaked out sometimes and think I'll mess up real big, to the point that he won't forgive me.  I know I shouldn't think that because I am the only one that takes control of my actions, but I'm human and I've made mistakes before.  I'll continue making mistakes.  I only pray they are not mistakes that will ruin the most precious thing in my life.  I feel like once we are sealed everything will be fine.  I don't know how to explain it, but I know Satan is working hard on me and my husband because he does not want us to be an eternal family.  But I do and Clifton does.  We are so determined.

Positive attitudes

Cliftons snow boots.  Thank goodness for those!  Hehe

For myself I am an optimist - it does not seem to be much use being anything else -Winston ChurchillPositive anything is better than negative nothing.  -Elbert Hubbard
Positive thinking won't let you do anything but it will let you do everything better than negative thinking will.  -Zig Ziglar



Life is a shipwreck but we must not forget to sing in the lifeboats. ~Voltaire



Every day may not be good, but there's something good in every day. ~Author Unknown



A person who has good thoughts cannot ever be ugly. You can have a wonky nose and a crooked mouth and a double chin and stick-out teeth, but if you have good thoughts they will shine out of your face like sunbeams and you will always look lovely. ~Roald Dahl
 
 


To be interested in the changing seasons is a happier state of mind than to be hopelessly in love with spring. ~George Santayana

It's snowing! I love it.  Sure it's supposed to be spring, but seriously what is the point in griping about it.  Learn to enjoy and love what is you circumstances!

If you don't like something change it; if you can't change it, change the way you think about it. ~Mary Engelbreit



Happiness is an attitude. We either make ourselves miserable, or happy and strong. The amount of work is the same. ~Francesca Reigler



Let us rise up and be thankful, for if we didn't learn a lot today, at least we learned a little, and if we didn't learn a little, at least we didn't get sick, and if we got sick, at least we didn't die; so, let us all be thankful. ~Buddha



I don't think of all the misery but of the beauty that still remains. ~Anne Frank
A happy person is not a person in a certain set of circumstances, but rather a person with a certain set of attitudes. ~Hugh Downs



Become a possibilitarian. No matter how dark things seem to be or actually are, raise your sights and see possibilities - always see them, for they're always there. ~Norman Vincent Peale

It is no use to grumble and complain;

It's just as cheap and easy to rejoice;
When God sorts out the weather and sends rain -
Why, rain's my choice.
~James Whitcomb Riley

I just want you to know, yesterday the sewer was blocked so I had to go through a huge puddle right here.  But unlike today I did not have the snow boots.  Awesome.  It was up to my knees.  I would've laughed seeing that.  But instead I just laughed at being in it.

Tithing

I've never really had a testimony of tithing until now.  It is incredible to me how everything somehow just works out financially when I pay tithing.  It shouldn't be incredible to me, but it really is.

Taco Bell

Perhaps you will relate to this.  When my body has a craving, I will do anything to satisfy it.  Well mainly I start crying if I can't satisfy my craving.  Kind of like the incident with the chips.  Tonight was not near as bad, but I all of a sudden needed Taco Bell.  Taco Bell has been my favorite since I was zero years old.  Seriously.  I have forgotten they have a value menu and I've sadly neglected my beloved Taco Bell the past few years.  I am tremendously ashamed.  So I called my husband at work and told him I really needed Taco Bell for dinner.  He told me it closed at 11...WHAT!  My heart sank.  All the way through my legs.  And then it went back up to where my heart should be, because it wasn't a huge deal tonight.  I wasn't crazy psycho like I was with the chips.  But lo and behold Clifton came home with Taco Bell.  Two bean burritos with extra red sauce, those frito burrito thingys, and cinnamon twists for me!  Booyah.  Turns out, after posting something on Facebook Cliftons sister was craving Taco Bell tonight as well.  I'm lucky though and got it. 

God bless the Taco Bell!

Blogs

I just discovered the "next blog" button.  Holy momma.  It is awesome!  I have thoroughly enjoyed reading what life is like for other people.  It's also really exciting when I stumble upon blogs that are near my hometown!  I guess it's all part of that "small world" think I talked about earlier.  I also think it's really funny when blogger continually takes me to chinese blogs.  I don't know chinese...

Medicine

I'm grateful for medicine.  Today I took some cold medicine and although it made me extremely tired, it completely worked.  No matter what medicine I take or how much I always get extremely tired.  It makes me feel like drug companies do that on purpose so they can experiment on me when I'm knocked out.

General Conference :)

I love General Conference.  I missed yesterdays session because of work and I was extremely bummed.  Saturday sessions have always been my favorite.  But today me and Clifton went to Chris' place and listened to conference while eating delicious crepes.  It's tradition.  The talks were incredible.  My favorite apostle has always been Jeffrey R. Holland and his talk was incredible, but the one that got to me most was Lynn G. Robins.  And you know what?  I'm gonna share it.  Enjoy!





“To be, or not to be” is actually a very good question. 1 The Savior posed the question in a far more profound way, making it a vital doctrinal question for each of us: “What manner of men [and women] ought ye to be? Verily I say unto you, even as I am” (3 Nephi 27:27; emphasis added). The first-person present tense of the verb be is I Am. He invites us to take upon us His name and His nature.
To become as He is, we must also do the things He did: “Verily, verily, I say unto you, this is my gospel; and ye know the things that ye must do in my church; for the works which ye have seen me do that shall ye also do” (3 Nephi 27:21; emphasis added).
To be and to do are inseparable. As interdependent doctrines they reinforce and promote each other. Faith inspires one to pray, for example, and prayer in turn strengthens one’s faith.
The Savior often denounced those who did without being—calling them hypocrites: “This people honoureth me with their lips, but their heart is far from me” (Mark 7:6). To do without to be is hypocrisy, or feigning to be what one is not—a pretender.
Conversely, to be without to do is void, as in “faith, if it hath not works, is dead, being alone” (James 2:17; emphasis added). Be without do really isn’t being—it is self-deception, believing oneself to be good merely because one’s intentions are good.
Do without be—hypocrisy—portrays a false image to others, while be without do portrays a false image to oneself.
The Savior chastised the scribes and Pharisees for their hypocrisy: “Woe unto you, scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites! for ye pay tithe”—something they did—“of mint and anise and cummin, and have omitted the weightier matters of the law, judgment, mercy, and faith” (Matthew 23:23). Or in other words, they failed to be what they should have been.
While He recognized the importance of do, the Savior identified be as a “weightier matter.” The greater importance of being is illustrated in the following examples:
• Entering the waters of baptism is something we do. The be that must precede it is faith in Jesus Christ and a mighty change of heart.
• Partaking of the sacrament is something we do. Being worthy to partake of the sacrament is a weightier and much more important matter.
• Ordination to the priesthood is an act, or do. The weightier matter, however, is power in the priesthood, which is based “upon the principles of righteousness” (D&C 121:36), or be.
Many of us create to do lists to remind us of things we want to accomplish. But people rarely have to be lists. Why? To do’s are activities or events that can be checked off the list when done. To be, however, is never done. You can’t earn checkmarks with to be’s. I can take my wife out for a lovely evening this Friday, which is a to do. But being a good husband is not an event; it needs to be part of my nature—my character, or who I am.
Or as a parent, when can I check a child off my list as done? We are never done being good parents. And to be good parents, one of the most important things we can teach our children is how to be more like the Savior.
Christlike to be’s cannot be seen, but they are the motivating force behind what we do, which can be seen. When parents help a child learn to walk, for example, we see parents doing things like steadying and praising their child. These do’s reveal the unseen love in their hearts and the unseen faith and hope in their child’s potential. Day after day their efforts continue—evidence of the unseen be’s of patience and diligence.
Because be begets do and is the motive behind do, teaching be will improve behavior more effectively than focusing on do will improve behavior.
When children misbehave, let’s say when they quarrel with each other, we often misdirect our discipline on what they did, or the quarreling we observed. But the do—their behavior—is only a symptom of the unseen motive in their hearts. We might ask ourselves, “What attributes, if understood by the child, would correct this behavior in the future? Being patient and forgiving when annoyed? Loving and being a peacemaker? Taking personal responsibility for one’s actions and not blaming?”
How do parents teach these attributes to their children? We will never have a greater opportunity to teach and show Christlike attributes to our children than in the way we discipline them. Discipline comes from the same root word as disciple and implies patience and teaching on our part. It should not be done in anger. We can and should discipline the way that Doctrine and Covenants 121 teaches us: “by persuasion, by long-suffering, by gentleness and meekness, and by love unfeigned; by kindness and pure knowledge” (verses 41–42). These are all Christlike be’s that should be a part of who we, as parents and disciples of Christ, are.
Through discipline the child learns of consequences. In such moments it is helpful to turn negatives into positives. If the child confesses to a wrong, praise the courage it took to confess. Ask the child what he or she learned from the mistake or misdeed, which gives you, and more important, the Spirit an opportunity to touch and teach the child. When we teach children doctrine by the Spirit, that doctrine has the power to change their very nature—be—over time.
Alma discovered this same principle, that “the preaching of the word had a great tendency to lead the people to do that which was just—yea, it had had more powerful effect upon the minds of the people than the sword” (Alma 31:5; emphasis added). Why? Because the sword focused only on punishing behavior—or do—while preaching the word changed people’s very nature—who they were or could become.
A sweet and obedient child will enroll a father or mother only in Parenting 101. If you are blessed with a child who tests your patience to the nth degree, you will be enrolled in Parenting 505. Rather than wonder what you might have done wrong in the premortal life to be so deserving, you might consider the more challenging child a blessing and opportunity to become more godlike yourself. With which child will your patience, long-suffering, and other Christlike virtues most likely be tested, developed, and refined? Could it be possible that you need this child as much as this child needs you?
We have all heard the advice to condemn the sin and not the sinner. Likewise, when our children misbehave, we must be careful not to say things that would cause them to believe that what they did wrong is who they are. “Never let failure progress from an action to an identity,” with its attendant labels like “stupid,” “slow,” “lazy,” or “clumsy.” 2 Our children are God’s children. That is their true identity and potential. His very plan is to help His children overcome mistakes and misdeeds and to progress to become as He is. Disappointing behavior, therefore, should be considered as something temporary, not permanent—an act, not an identity.
We need to be careful, therefore, about using permanent phrases such as “You always …” or “You never …” when disciplining. Take care with phrases such as “You never consider my feelings” or “Why do you always make us wait?” Phrases like these make actions appear as an identity and can adversely influence the child’s self-perception and self-worth.
Identity confusion can also occur when we ask children what they want to be when they grow up, as if what a person does for a living is who he or she is. Neither professions nor possessions should define identity or self-worth. The Savior, for example, was a humble carpenter, but that hardly defined His life.
In helping children discover who they are and helping strengthen their self-worth, we can appropriately compliment their achievement or behavior—the do. But it would be even wiser to focus our primary praise on their character and beliefs—who they are.
In a game of sports, a wise way to compliment our children’s performance—do—would be through the point of view of be—like their energy, perseverance, poise in the face of adversity, etc.—thus complimenting both be and do.


When we ask children to do chores, we can also look for ways to compliment them on being, such as, “It makes me so happy when you do your chores with a willing heart.”
When children receive a report card from school, we can praise them for their good grades, but it may be of greater lasting benefit to praise them for their diligence: “You turned in every assignment. You are one who knows how to tackle and finish difficult things. I am proud of you.”
During family scripture time, look for and discuss examples of attributes discovered in your reading that day. Because Christlike attributes are gifts from God and cannot be developed without His help, 3 in family and personal prayers, pray for those gifts.
At the dinner table, occasionally talk about attributes, especially those you discovered in the scriptures earlier that morning. “In what way were you a good friend today? In what way did you show compassion? How did faith help you face today’s challenges? In what way were you dependable? honest? generous? humble?” There are scores of attributes in the scriptures that need to be taught and learned.
The most important way to teach to be is to be the kind of parents to our children that our Father in Heaven is to us. He is the one perfect parent, and He has shared with us His parenting manual—the scriptures.


My remarks today have been addressed primarily to parents, but the principles apply to everyone. May your efforts to develop Christlike attributes be successful so that His image may be engraven in your countenance and His attributes manifest in your behavior. Then, when your children or others feel of your love and see your behavior, it will remind them of the Savior and draw them to Him is my prayer and testimony in the name of Jesus Christ, amen.

FAFSA

I finally applied for Fafsa.  You see, I've never qualified since my parents make too much.  I hate that rule.  Just because my parents make a lot, doesn't mean they give me any of it!  Thank goodness for marriage right?  I just found out I got $2800 in pell grants.  SAWEET!!!!!!!  I can finally go back to college!  I cannot wait to be a teacher.

People that can take a joke!

In honor of April Fools day, which I am a huge fan of, I am grateful for people that can take a joke.  Life is way too hard, way too serious, and way too stressful to not be able to laugh about!  Although I'll laugh at pretty much everything, I appreciate good humor--humor that isn't degrading that is used at the right time.  Some people don't like pranks that leave people feeling bad and I sometimes agree, but for the most part it's really no big deal.  I hate when people have bad attitudes at clearly funny things.  JUST RELAX!!!  It IS ok to laugh ;D.  Taking life too seriously is just dumb.  I can be serious definitely, but for the most part I just like to laugh.  I laugh during sex.  Clifton hates that.  I laugh when people fall.  I laugh at crazy drivers.  I laugh at how forgetful I am.  Cause if I don't laugh, I think I'd just get really depressed and worried about everything.

The only way to get through life is to laugh your way through it. You either have to laugh or cry. I prefer to laugh, crying gives me a headache  -Marjorie Hinckley