It is incredible to me how bad things continue to get in peoples lives because of bad communication. Oh trust me, I'm as guilty as anyone. I've misunderstood, passed along faulty information, and neglected to tell someone something. It happens. I try my best though and because of that my communication skills have improved; but I believe that is something that everyone will always need to work on for it to remain effective. I took a communications class in high school and I loved it but that by no means makes me any better at communicationing than anyone else. Like I said, it's a continual growth. I had a friend once that minored in communication and thought she was superb at her communication skills because of it; she was not. She still misunderstood a lot which is something that could have been prevented had she put her learned skills to use. Here are some steps to effective communication that I can think of and I'm sure are in some pamphlet somewhere:
1. Listen. Actively listen to what the person is saying and don't get distracted by things outside of the conversation. Give input so the person knows you are listening.
2. Body Language. Make sure what you are saying is matching what you are doing. Some people thing actions speak louder than words but I don't believe that anymore. I think that words need to back up actions just as much as actions need to back up words. Make eye contact with the person you are conversing with. Lean towards them instead of away from them, and keep your arms unfolded to appear more open.
3. Repeat what was said. I don't mean exactly, but I use this phrase all the time: "Ok let me make sure I'm understanding this right. My dogs barking wakes you up in the middle of the night?" It's always good to make sure you are on the same page as someone. Even though a phrase is really simple, everyone perceives things differently and it's important to make sure you understand things the way they want you to and not the way you want to.
4. Use "I" language. When confronting someone, don't use attacking words. Try to stay away from "you" statements, otherwise they will get defensive and arguments will arise. You feel a certain way, but no one but yourself makes you feel that way so take responsibility for it.
5. Speak up! When in a conversation or getting directions or at any time, do not be afraid to speak up. Say what you think, ask questions, and converse WITH the person! Along with speaking up is letting the other person talk. No one likes listening to you for hours at a time. What they have to say is important as well.
6. Stay person to person. Do not try handling a problem via email or text. At the very least talk over the phone, the very best meet in a mutual place that is comfortable for both of you.
7. Keep things clear and concise and up to date. Lots of work environments suffer from poor communication because the managers or whoever else failed to pass on valuable information like a change in policy etc.
That's all I can think of/find on the net for now. Good communication is vital in any good relationship. It is impossible to have a good relationship with your spouse without good communication. Nuff said.
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