Cheesepuff Balls

Oh yeah.  I totally bought these today.  I never buy junk food.  Until today.

Time alone

I love being with my husband.  We have an incredible relationship.  Sometimes I just need some time alone though.  I get sick of people really fast if I'm around them a LOT during the week, but Clifton is different.  I rarely get sick of my honeybuns.  That's one of the many reasons I knew he was for me.  I can easily tolerate him forever.  That cutie.  But today I just needed some time alone.  And that's ok.  It let me think and ponder and get rid of any negative powers in my life.  Rejuvenating is the word.  I love rejuvenating.

Zumba

I just did Zumba for the first time tonight!  It was so much fun!  Dancing+a workout plan=awesome.  Go try it, it's a blast.

Pinterest

Pinterest is all the rage you know.  I've been hearing about it for months and finally decided to see what is so great about it.  I love it.  I probably won't get an account, but it's reminded me of one of the most important things to hold onto from your childhood; creativity.  There are so many things I love and want to do with my family so I'm excited!  Here are some "pins" I like; they aren't the best ones I've seen, but they are the ones I can quickly grab at the moment.  I don't have any posted, but some of my favorite pins have been re-purposing things like putting cloth over a shoe box lid to create the "canvas" lid.  I love diy and giving things second chances, even if it may just be a piece of paper or broken drawer etc.

Professor one on one

I am a failure.
Literally.

I got kicked out of Snow College.  Shhh, don't tell.

This was years ago of course, and I have learned so much throughout my time at Snow.  The biggest thing I've learned, or perhaps re-learned, is to love education.  I'm going to Weber State now and between my time at Snow as well as taking a break from school, I want to be here.  I LOVE LEARNING!  I LOVE SCHOOL!  I feel like I just want to be a permanent student as my career.  I cannot get enough of school and the things I'm learning.  I am actually studying and going to class unlike last time and it is making a phenomenal impact!

I just took my first exam in history and I got 78%.  I was not very happy with that score so I went to my professors office hours today.  He informed me that he changed one of the answers  so I actually got 80%.  Wahoo!  Not amazing, but better than a C, and much better than a D or F.  I appreciate the one-on-one he was willing to provide during office hours so I can succeed in school.  I know professors can be really busy so it's nice to know they actually care and want their students to do well.

Gas relief. Pfft.

Have you ever gone to the doctors office for something incredibly stupid?  I always hear people say that and I've even said "I don't want to go to the doctor because it'll probably be nothing" but I've never actually had that happen.  Every time I go to the doctor I am sick or getting a physical or have some strange rash (which ended up being scabies but no one figured it out for a whole year...I was miserably itchy).  The past 2 weeks I have had this intense pain in my chest; it hurt to breathe and it often felt like my lung was collapsing or being squeezed.  I talked with my older sister, who is in the medical field, and she couldn't think of anything but walking pnemonia.  She told me to go see the doctor.  After a few days I finally decided to set up an appointment.  The breaking moment?

Me and Clifton were watching Star Trek when my dog decided to cuddle with us on the couch.  He hopped up but his whole lower body was hanging completely off the couch which was hilarious to watch.  Scout kept trying to stabilize himself by kicking the air but he was honestly just so happy to be snuggling with his owners that he didn't care all that much.  Clifton and I busted up laughing at our adorable dog and the minute I started laughing the pain increased.  I love it when my husband laughs his true gut laugh.  It makes me overwhelmingly happy that I always start laughing when he's truly laughing.  Because when something is funny enough for my husband to laugh at with all of his gut, it must be funny.  The combination of our dog and Cliftons laugh sent me into hysteria.  I was focusing all of my energies on not laughing because I could barely breathe when I did.  Then of course I was so amused that I had to concentrate on holding in my bladder as well.  Tragically, they were both things that required my full focus so I decided to focus on not laughing.  And I peed my pants.  Embarrassing?  Always.  Funny?  Yep.  Sad?  You bet.  I always start crying when I have an accident so it was at that moment I decided to go see the doctor.

I was so scared to go to the office alone so I made my prego sister join me.  I am such a child sometimes.  The doctor was a new one and he had a bit of an accent--I have no idea from where because I'm not good with that kind of thing.  He decided it was an issue important enough for the x-ray.  Dun dun dun.  It was the first x-ray I'd had done in years and it was a little exciting for me.  After that was finished he came into the room and said I have a big gas bubble working its way through my system.  His accent made it sound like "big-ass bubble" which was very humorous to me and my sister.

I went to the doctor because of gas?  You have got to be kidding me.  I've had a few more days of pain and today I was finally to relieve that pain with the help of all the metamusal I've been taking.  Oh yes.  Gas relief.  You know the feeling.  It's wondrous.

Egg toast

I finally bought eggs today.  And bread.  I find it so hard to spend money on food.  I'm fine spending money on clothes or candles or movies or what have you, but I feel like my money is wasted when I buy food.  It's so discouraging to work so hard at a negative job, receive a small paycheck which goes directly towards bills, then spend the small remainder of money on something that disappears in a day anyway!  It's an ongoing battle for me.  Yes, I enjoy cooking for my husband and taking care of him.  It doesn't happen very often though, because I genuinely struggle with "wasting" money on food.  Plus I hate cooking for two.  I grew up in a big family and it's so much easier for me to make big portion sizes.  It feels like I should have 10 other people in the house to cook for.  I know I sound crazy but I am confident that will be a more simple task for me!  At least then there will be so many people that food won't go bad.  I get so discouraged when bread gets moldy, or bananas brown, or the spaghetti sauce is growing bacteria.

That's all beside the point though.  I made myself egg toast tonight while I watched CSI.  It was a good evening.  I'm so glad I learned how to make this wonderful egg toast.  It's delicious and I'm grateful for it today.

Girls night

Tonight Carrie and I finally got together.  We made pizza, which was delicious, and watched "My Name is Earl".  It was a great night.  It was just what I needed.  She is such a wonderful friend.  In fact, she's one of the only people I actually consider my friend.  We were able to catch up and talk a lot about our lives.  I miss her when I don't see her every week.  I always feel right at home with her.  I am so grateful for her and the time we got to spend together tonight!

New clothes!

I haven't bought new clothes in years.  It felt great.

Road Signs?! #$%#

Yes!  Cliftons mancave is finally clean and complete!  Thanks to me.  All me.  He did nothing.  For his room.  Take a gander?  The other wall has a few more signs, along with his dartboard.  Then all throughout the room is his knive collection.  I'm awesome.

Clothes browsing

is really quite fun.

Good professors

Today I walked into my History 1700 class and something strange took over me.  My professor walked in and my heart went wild.  A crush?  A big fat massive schoolgirl crush you say?  It was weird to say the least.  I have never, in my history of learning, ever had any type of crush on any type of instructor.  Talk about inappropriate.  OK, it's not inappropriate since it's not a "I'm gonna act on my feelings" crush.


The thing is, my professor is brilliant.  He loves what he teaches and he wants us to love it to.  He is a superb teacher.  He keeps everyone interested in what he's saying and he is very animated.  I am so grateful for good professors like him.  They make learning so much more fun.

Movie Editor

Today I learned my computer has a movie editing feature.  Now, movies have never really been my thing.  My sister, Kari, got me hooked on youtube and I finally created an account not too long ago so that I could post comments and 'favorite' my top songs.  Somehow I came across JoeThursdays, which is an awesome youtube channel.  Go there.  Go there now.  I watched his videos for hours one day instead of studying; I don't regret it at all.  Watching his videos has made me want to try out vlogging, or putting together cool music videos.

Not only that, but I've gotten bored of photo editing.  I'm not saying I'm great at it, but with the low-tech "equipment" I have I feel like I've learned everything I possibly can.  It's gotten too easy and mundane.  It doesn't interest me like it used to.  I am confident that when I get a great camera and photo editor, along with shadowing actual photographers, there will be a lot more that I can learn.  Until then I need something more challenging.

Enter video editing.  For my brothers birthday I decided to do something really special since this is his first birthday in a long time he's single (technically he's not since he and Meg are back together...again...good grief).  Last week the brilliant idea came to me!  I interviewed each family member and asked them what they loved about Aaron.  After hours of putting together photos, videos, and songs his birthday video is turning out quite nicely.  I believe in diy, so I may be a little slower at learning the basics of video, but the important thing is I am learning and after a few hours I feel like I have fully caught on.

I know I'm not talented at video editing or photo editing, but I love doing it!  Today I am grateful for movie editors, for keeping my mind intrigued and giving me a proper challenge.

Being uniquely you.

One of the best bits of advice I've ever gotten was "Don't try to catch up.  You either write or you don't.  Don't think about how much you need to update, because then it will be too much and you will never write."  I don't remember who told me that which is really too bad, but it was when I was a teenager and it was in reference to journal writing.  It is totally true.  I have not written a complete entry in my journal in well over a year, maybe even two.  When I read through my older journals I go crazy when I get to an entry that says "Today was so amazing! Me and Aaron checked Madie and Ammon out of" or "I can't stop crying".  WHAT?!  Why not?!  What made the day fabulous?  Why was I crying?  Come on Jesse from the past, get it together!  Now that's not to say my journals consist purely of incomplete entries because they don't.  I probably only have a handful of meaningless one-liners.  Being honest, I don't have a complete journal entry in such a long time because I've only written in my journal 3 times in the past two years.  It's shameful.  I always get mad at myself for that.  Yet the perfectionist in me, which has somehow blown up and gotten to be extreme over the past month, refuses to not catch up.  I feel obligated to update on my life thus far and that is what holds me back.

The same thing goes for blogging.  I hate reading blogs that are constantly apologizing for the delayed update or blog; that's just not my style and I'm pretty sure I have never done it.  If you are reading this and you do it, no big deal.  It doesn't make sense to me to apologize, when really we're (I'M?  Maybe I'm the only one.) just as glad to read anything about your life whether it be the day of or a month later.  I have not blogged solely for the reason that I do not have internet and after a few weeks realized what a pain it is to catch up.  I actually almost gave up on my New Year resolution and goal yesterday, but thankfully that quote came to mind.  I refuse to fail.  I need to finish this New Year resolution to prove to myself that it is possible to have a goal and follow through with it; especially a NEW YEAR goal.  I don't know anyone that has completed their New Year resolution.  Is that a challenge?  Perhaps.  Yes.  Either way, I am determined to finish strong.

I feel like I have learned a lot already from this goal of mine.  Through reading other blogs, and going back and reading my own, my writing has progressed significantly.  I am definitely not a clever or talented writer, but I have matured as a writer.  It's obvious in my very first post from this year (the link is given in the previous paragraph).  Who puts "haha" in their writing?!  I am embarrassed.  Granted, this is no English class and it is really just my online journal which I print, but I personally enjoy reading posts that are better written.  Everyone has their own style and it's interesting to see that style unfold and reveal itself.

Another thing I've learned is that there is so much to be grateful for, even on the worst of days.  I have already been grateful for 260 days and there are numerous other things to be grateful for that I can think of at the moment.  My favorite quote is the one at the top of my page:  "Develop an attitude of gratitude, and give thanks for everything that happens to you, knowing that every step forward is a step toward achieving something bigger and better than your current situation."

Perhaps the biggest thing I've learned this year, whether from dedicating the year to gratitude or from multiple experiences throughout, is to fully love and accept who I am and who others are.  I love my acne, my cellulite, my weak wrists, my short nails, my alien toes, my ivory colored teeth, my perfectionism, and everything else that many people consider disgusting or unattractive.  When you really think about it why does it matter?  So what if I have pimples?  It isn't physically damaging.  Sure I may get pock marks later on, but acne is something that I've had to learn to accept.  I have been on multiple medications to get rid of this "skin flaw" but nothing has been ultimately effective.  It was the most difficult thing for me to handle in high school but I have grown from that and learned that it does not matter.  I have acne.  So what?  So what if I don't bleach my teeth to the color of glow-in-the-dark?  I brush my teeth.  My "imperfect" teeth color doesn't hurt you or me so why care about it?  So what?  So what if I get cellulite on my legs?  I work out and I don't eat a whole bunch of junk.  It is largely hereditary, and it doesn't do me or you harm.  I find it entertaining occasionally.  I have learned that if you are nit-picky with yourself about minor "imperfections", you will be that way with other people whether you mean to or not.  It ruins what you think of yourself and it ruins the relationships you have.  One of my best friends from high school made a wonderful post a few months ago conveying this same concept.  I haven't read the post since then so I really hope I have not stolen her words!  I'm terrified of plagiarism.  Reading her blog is what got me thinking about all of this in the first place.  I don't understand why people constantly criticize and condemn those that are different from them, or not "up to par" in the looks department.  It's senseless.

It bothers me that our society in general has become a massive race to be the "most attractive".  I hate that people refuse to accept everything they are in order to obtain something that is not unique and individual to them.  Why try to be the same as everyone else?  Being different is a beautiful thing!  Don't ruin that.  I know, it sounds like I'm complaining about life.  I love life and the human race.  I don't think my way of living is any better than anyone elses.  I think there is, however, something to be said for self-discovery, acceptance, and most importantly love though.  Love yourself.  Everything about yourself.  Every.  Day.

June 1-September 16

June
1.  Lessons learned
2.  Kari
3.  Wussies
4.  Experience
5.  Clifton days
6.  New shoes
7.  Studies
8.  Drive in
9.  Laurie
10.  Clean sheets
11.  Horny days
12.  Rage energy
13.  French kisses and soft touches
14.  Freedom
15.  Special needs
16.  Fresh produce
17.  Trails & refuge
18.  Accomplishments
19.  Races
20.  Know thyself-socrates
21.  Hobbies
22.  Disc golf
23.  Opportunity
24.  Pioneers
25.  Carrie
26.  RAGNAR
27.  Bachelorette parties
28.  Toy Story
29.  Gandolfo's
30.  Causey

July
1.  Cars
2.  hAiRcUtS
3.  Aerial fireworks
4.  4th festivities
5.  Journal
6.  Healing
7.  My love for organizing
8.  House sitting
9  Obstacle courses
10.  Youtube!
11.  Adventures
12.  Antelope Island
13.  Trading shifts
14.  Family time
15.  Shutterfly
16.  Ellen Degeneres
17.  Sprinklers
18.  King size beds
19.  Harry Potter
20.  Rodeo
21.  Resolving arguments
22.  Sleep talk
23.  Leftovers
24.  Oma
25.  BLT, Twix, & Sparkling Cider
26.  Self discovery
27.  James
28.  Cliftons financial situation
29.  Sibling dates
30.  Meatballs yum
31.  Massages

August
1.  Comfort
2.  "birth control"
3.  Ibuprofen
4.  Country music
5.  Deamer family
6.  Pads
7.  Sister shopping
8.  Good breakfast
9.  Apathy
10.  My home
11.  Moms money
12.  Ambers family
13.  Family hikes
14.  Fruit!!!!!!!
15.  Fatcats
16.  Time passing quickly
17.  Pineview Damn
18.  Monkee & Scooter
19.  Determination
20.  Cell phone
21.  Moms education experience
22.  School
23.  Public transportation
24.  Acting
25.  Things that come together with effort
26.  Strange inventions
27.  Study helps
28.  Mom
29.  Consistent schedule
30.  Helping friends
31.  Game night

September
1. The fall!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
2.  Madie
3.  Color coordination
4.  Night games
5.  Motivating stress
6.  Tonia
7.  Photo shoots
8.  FIRST ANNIVERSARY!!!
9.  Camping
10.  The end of some weeks
11.  Cliftons calmness
12.  Being a leader
13.  Road signs
14.  Pizza Runner & Grounds
15.  Promotions
16.  Arrested Development

Opening

I'm grateful for opening at my job.  It gives me the rest of the day to do what I want.  Booyah.

Jeans

You girls know what I'm talking about.  The jeans that you've had for years and just hate to take off because they are so comfortable.

Realization that technology is lame

I'm a loser.  Literally.  I lose way too many things to be even close to being a winner.  I've been a loser all my life.  As you may recall, I lost my camera a while back and miraculously found it 2 months later.  I have a feeling that will not be the case this time.  Yes I lost the camera again, what of it?  Apparently, Clifton is accusing me of leaving it on the bench at the dog park.  There is a 98% chance he may be right.  I mean, he was right about the camera being at Olive Garden last time.  What are the odds he's right again?  Ok ok.  My husband definitely keeps my head on straight so he has to be right.  After searching all the places we went to today we came to the conclusion it was left at the dog park.  I made my first "Lost!" sign in my life.  I'm 22 and I've never made one of those before?  How is that possible in my family?!  That's beside the point.  I hung up my little paper all over the dog park hoping somebody honest took/found my camera.  Yeah right.  

This whole day just made me realize how much I loathe technology.  My computer crashed a few months ago, taking all of my pictures with it.  I am fairly certain I have all my photos either on facebook, my flash drive, the memory card, or the parents computer but I'll really never know.  It's upsetting for me to lose so many precious memories!  So I'm boycotting technology.  I am going to invest in a typewriter, get my photo books made, and live in a tree house like the Swiss Family Robinson.  I already feel so much more productive!

Living Scripture Videos

I got asked to substitute a primary class and it made me realize how grateful I am for the living scriptures videos.  I grew up on these bad boys!  And I still love them and continue to learn.

Gods timing

You know what?  God knows perfectly well what he's doing.

Tolerance

Today a friend and I were talking and he revealed that he did not believe in love.  He said that at first people are just infatuated, and then as the years go on they just tolerate each other.  I was humored by his statement but as I thought about it more and more I realized he was right.  Not about the love.  I believe in love.  I believe that's why me and my husband cry together after resolving a big fight, or why he selflessly takes care of me regardless of whether I'm sick or not.  I think my friend was right about the tolerance.  I think tolerance is love.  You don't tolerate someone unless you care about them.  It's hard sometimes to tolerate people.  Especially for me.  I don't know why but I get sick of people really fast.  If I'm around the same person every day for a week, I begin to loathe them.  It's all in my head but I get very perturbed being around the same people constantly.  The exceptions to this is my family members and Clifton.  Clifton is the ONLY person outside of my siblings that I can bear to be around for very long. That's one of the biggest reasons I knew he and I will always be together.  I'm grateful for tolerance and the people loving enough to tolerate me.  I know that I am a lot to handle.  I don't need much attention and I don't need many clothes and I'm always up for getting dirty.  I'm not high maintenance in that aspect.  I'm high maintenance in the emotions aspect.  And you know what?  It's ok, because my husband enjoys maintaining me.  Don't think I don't take care of him either.  I have learned that I haven't treated Clifton the best, but that has changed.  I am continuously making an effort to jolt him the way he jolts me.  Why?  Because of tolerance.  He's an easy person to tolerate anyway, but even if he wasn't I'd still tolerate him because I love him.

Dog park

You want to know the most brilliant creation ever?  Ok well I was going to make it a picture surprise, but it's all in the title.  We discovered the dog park today and it is seriously ingenious!  We've been wanting to get Scout out to be around dogs but had no idea how or where.  We didn't see any opportunities.  Naturally we were very happy to see this park.  It is so good for dogs to interact with other dogs.  They become less violent, terratorial, and moody.  It is always great exercise for them.  My favorite part, besides the sign of the dog picking up poop, is that we don't have to bring anything but the dog.  There are plenty of chairs, toys, doodoo bags, shovels, trash cans, dogs, and water bowls.  Cool right?

This really is the sign on the fence.  I just find it hilarious.

CLOSE friends.  Actually that dog is the worst, we always leave now whenever we see him.  Little did we know that first day though.

Becky

Beckaboo (beh-kuh-boo) (noun):

       A person of extraordinary responsibility.  She is very intelligent and successful.  She is the oldest sister and I haven't really gotten to know her until the past few years.  She is extremely giving of herself and always puts people before herself.  She is sensitive and kind and is aware of the way people feel.  She sacrifices so much of herself for others without them even knowing.  She is hysterical.  Becky is smart, but she is also gullible because she is so trusting.  Three years ago my parents were going to Moab and me and Becky were the only ones that were able to go.  It was such a fun trip.  Becky also has the best stories.  Always.  No exception.  She tells stories so well, and her expressions just add to them perfectly.  She reminds me of my favorite aunt; Linda.    Becky does what she wants and doesn't let things stop her.  She experiences new things and actually LIVES her life.  She had the opportunity to run the Ragnar Relay this year in Utah and she will be doing it next month.  She has never really run and she still said yes!  She knew it would be a fun adventure.  I freaking love that.  She also is taking an aerial silk class (see picture below).  I went to see her today and it was awesome.  Becky is so brave and it's inspiring to see her just do things without making lame excuses.  I want to be more like her.  I love my older sister so much and am so grateful I've gotten to know her as well as I have.

Holding

Eisley

I know I've been on a big fat Eisley kick the past month or so but they are incredible.  They have the most beautiful voices I've heard; so enchanting.  I have already listened to their new album for hours.  Well since I'm being honest, I haven't stopped listening to them since last night.  Their music sucks me in.  I get lost in the rythms, harmonies, lyrics, and emotions.  I connect with their music.  I wish everyone knew about them, but I also love having this outstanding secret band of mine.  If I ever met them I would cry.  In fact I cried last night when they went on stage.  I was so ecstatic.

Road trips

And now.  The moment you've all been waiting for.


EISLEY.

It's such a beautiful name.  You don't even know!

Today we traveled up to Boise to see them in concert and it was PHENOMENAL!  Ammon was quite hesitant; he hated road trips.  I assure you that is no longer the case.  That's right, we road trip the fun way.  Lots of messing with each other, asking meaningful and meaningless questions, stopping at hilarious gas stations, and taking lots of pictures.  Enjoy!

Yes.  Those are alpacas (llamas) at the sinclair in the middle of nowhere.  Awesome.

They were so soft and plush!

AND we got to feed them!  Soooo cool.

See what I mean?  Messing with each other.  Kari stuffed a twizzler in Ammons nose.

Crazy from the car ride?  Or just crazy...

Worst picture ever.  I wish I had a computer so I could edit the crap out of it.  Actually, I just wish I had a new camera.

We all enjoyed dinner.  Can you tell?

Your vision is correct.  That is a man with a wizard hat and beer can staff.

Once again, no need to check your eyes.  Man with oar crossing the street.

ze birfday girly

And here in Idaho, we like to motivate by beating you up with words.  You hopeless and powerless human.

This is the common area in Boise.  Boise is seriously the cutest!  I loved it there.

Oh hey giant Abe statue in the middle of Boisef.  Sup.

Becky chasing the birds, as usual.  Kari getting ready to pounce on someone and wrestle, also as usual.

Concert happiness.

Look there they are!  There's Eisley :]

Physical and emotional cleanliness

By Gordon B. Hinckley:

We live in a world that is filled with filth and sleaze, a world that reeks of evil. It is all around us. It is on the television screen. It is at the movies. It is in the popular literature. It is on the Internet. You can’t afford to watch it, my dear friends. You cannot afford to let that filthy poison touch you. Stay away from it. Avoid it. You can’t rent videos and watch them as they portray degrading things. You young men who hold the priesthood of God cannot mix this filth with the holy priesthood.

Avoid evil talk. Do not take the name of the Lord in vain. From the thunders of Sinai the finger of the Lord wrote on tablets of stone, “Thou shalt not take the name of the Lord thy God in vain” (Ex. 20:7).

It is not a mark of manhood to carelessly use the name of the Almighty or His Beloved Son in a vain and flippant way, as many are prone to do.

Choose your friends carefully. It is they who will lead you in one direction or the other. Everybody wants friends. Everybody needs friends. No one wishes to be without them. But never lose sight of the fact that it is your friends who will lead you along the paths that you will follow.

While you should be friendly with all people, select with great care those whom you wish to have close to you. They will be your safeguards in situations where you may vacillate between choices, and you in turn may save them.

Be clean. Don’t waste your time in destructive entertainment. There was recently held in the Salt Lake Valley a show put on by a traveling band. I am told that it was filthy, that it was lascivious, that it was evil in every respect. The young people of this community had paid $25 to $35 to get in. What did they get for their money? Only a seductive voice urging them to move in the direction of the slimy things of life. I plead with you, my friends, to stay away from such. It will not help you. It can only injure you.

I recently spoke to your mothers and your fathers. Among other things, I talked with them about tattoos.

What creation is more magnificent than the human body? What a wondrous thing it is as the crowning work of the Almighty.

Paul, in writing to the Corinthians, said: “Know ye not that ye are the temple of God, and that the Spirit of God dwelleth in you?

“If any man defile the temple of God, him shall God destroy; for the temple of God is holy, which temple ye are” (1 Cor. 3:16–17).

Did you ever think that your body is holy? You are a child of God. Your body is His creation. Would you disfigure that creation with portrayals of people, animals, and words painted into your skin?

I promise you that the time will come, if you have tattoos, that you will regret your actions. They cannot be washed off. They are permanent. Only by an expensive and painful process can they be removed. If you are tattooed, then probably for the remainder of your life you will carry it with you. I believe the time will come when it will be an embarrassment to you. Avoid it. We, as your Brethren who love you, plead with you not to become so disrespectful of the body which the Lord has given you.

May I mention earrings and rings placed in other parts of the body. These are not manly. They are not attractive. You young men look better without them, and I believe you will feel better without them. As for the young women, you do not need to drape rings up and down your ears. One modest pair of earrings is sufficient.

I mention these things because again they concern your bodies.

How truly beautiful is a well-groomed young woman who is clean in body and mind. She is a daughter of God in whom her Eternal Father can take pride. How handsome is a young man who is well groomed. He is a son of God, deemed worthy of holding the holy priesthood of God. He does not need tattoos or earrings on or in his body. The First Presidency and the Quorum of the Twelve are all united in counseling against these things.

And while I speak of such matters I want to give emphasis again to the matter of pornography. It has become a 10 billion dollar industry in the United States, where a few men grow rich at the expense of thousands upon thousands who are their victims. Stay away from it. It is exciting, but it will destroy you. It will warp your senses. It will build within you an appetite that you will do anything to appease. And don’t try to create associations through the Internet and chat rooms. They can lead you down into the very abyss of sorrow and bitterness.

I must also say a word concerning illicit drugs. You know how I feel about them. I don’t care what the variety may be. They will destroy you if pursued. You will become their slave. Once in their power, you will do anything to get money to buy more.

I was amazed while watching a television program to learn that parents introduced drugs to their children in 20 percent of the cases. I cannot understand what I regard as the stupidity of these parents. What future other than slavery for their children could they see in them? Illegal drugs will utterly destroy those who become addicted to them.

My advice, my pleading to you wonderful young men and women, is to stay entirely away from them. You don’t need to experiment with them. Look about you and see the effects they have had on others. There is no need for any Latter-day Saint boy or girl, young man or young woman, to even try them. Stay clean from these mind-altering and habit-forming addictions.

And now just a word on the most common and most difficult of all problems for you young men and young women to handle. It is the relationship that you have one with another. You are dealing with the most powerful of human instincts. Only the will to live possibly exceeds it.

The Lord has made us attractive one to another for a great purpose. But this very attraction becomes as a powder keg unless it is kept under control. It is beautiful when handled in the right way. It is deadly if it gets out of hand.

It is for this reason that the Church counsels against early dating. This rule is not designed to hurt you in any way. It is designed to help you, and it will do so if you will observe it.

Steady dating at an early age leads so often to tragedy. Studies have shown that the longer a boy and girl date one another, the more likely they are to get into trouble.

It is better, my friends, to date a variety of companions until you are ready to marry. Have a wonderful time, but stay away from familiarity. Keep your hands to yourself. It may not be easy, but it is possible.

You young men who plan to go on missions must recognize that sexual sin may keep you from that opportunity. You may think that you can hide it. Long experience has shown that you cannot. To serve an effective mission you must have the Spirit of the Lord, and truth withheld does not mix with that Spirit. Sooner or later you will feel compelled to confess your earlier transgressions. Well did Sir Galahad say, “My strength is as the strength of ten, because my heart is pure” (Alfred, Lord Tennyson, Sir Galahad [1842], st. 1).

My dear young friends, in matters of sex you know what is right. You know when you are walking on dangerous ground, when it is so easy to stumble and slide into the pit of transgression. I plead with you to be careful, to stand safely back from the cliff of sin over which it is so easy to fall. Keep yourselves clean from the dark and disappointing evil of sexual transgression. Walk in the sunlight of that peace which comes from obedience to the commandments of the Lord.

Now, if there be any who have stepped over the line, who may already have transgressed, is there any hope for you? Of course there is. Where there is true repentance, there will be forgiveness. That process begins with prayer. The Lord has said, “He who has repented of his sins, the same is forgiven, and I, the Lord, remember them no more” (D&C 58:42). Share your burden with your parents if you can. And by all means, confess to your bishop, who stands ready to help you.

The brain brain brain

An amazing thing about walking to work, is the chance I get to think.  My brain is constantly going, but it's nice not being interrupted.  In fact, I'm extremely easy to scare because I'm constantly within myself thinking about things.  I don't like to overthink and I enjoy vegging out in front of Challenge as much as the next person.  I believe our brains need breaks but not so much that we become more dumb.  I often feel like I'm getting stupider and stupider the longer I prolong going back to college.  Working in a deli doesn't help boost my confidence in my brain either.

And I absolutely love those moments of enlightenment.  The moment where you think about things and all the possibilities and effects it has and after exhausting all options, your solid viewpoint on it reveals itself.  For example, my view on divorce has vastly changed.  I always thought that divorce was NOT an option at all, no matter what, til the end of time stay with that person.  With recent events I have forced myself to reconsider.  My mom has remarried 3 times and I literally cannot imagine the specifics of what my life would be like if she had stayed with my dad.  I believe that everything happens for a reason and we can never possibly comprehend the impact each decision will have on our future and the lives of those around us.  I am still very hesitant when it comes to divorce, although my mind has opened up to the possibility that it is in fact a necessity for some to be happy and learn the things they are meant to learn in life.  I believe in fighting your hardest for marriage and I still think divorce is a selfish thing to do in lots of situations, but I have gotten to the point where I no longer judge those that get divorced.  Yes I admit it.  When someone would explain the situation of their divorce to me I would silently ridicule (I'm not completely awful, I'd still feel bad for the divorced).  A lot inside of me has changed though.  I'd like to think so at least.  My mind...my brain...has been broadened and I am grateful for it.

Hitting rock bottom

Sometimes you need to hit rock bottom to know what you really want.

What you really need to work on.

What you have to do.

I'm grateful for that.

We've all been there.

If not...you'll get there soon enough.

And all I can say for you is to get perspective to learn what you need so you can become so much more.

Things to look forward to!

I'm taking my little sister Kari to Eisley this Saturday and I CANNOT WAIT!!!!  I just looked up their new stuff and this song is my favorite so far.

Phone Apps

This is the dumbest game/app I've ever seen in my life.

That's right.  I hate Angry Birds.  Judge me.  When I first heard about it and saw Clifton playing it I laughed my butt off.  I admit, the storyline and creativity is hilarious.  The first time I played it I sucked way bad.  I kept trying and I still sucked.  Obviously I hate the game now.  I don't understand how it became the most popular game on the planet either.  It always annoys me when small things suddenly become famous seemingly overnight.  Same thing happened with the Twilight books.  I read that book when it first came out and I could not wait for the second book.  I recommended it to all of my friends in high school and they scoffed.  Years later what happens?  Those same friends are raving about the book to me!  How dare they!  The amount of fame given to those books nearly ruined it for me and I am kind of ashamed to say I love Twilight, even though I did love it first.  I know, I'm pathetic.  Aside from that. 

Here's a game I LOVE:

Kind of the same concept of Angry Birds, but much better.

Next:

Yep, I'm a total sucker for horoscopes.  I think horoscopes fit people in a general way just like fortune cookies or something like that, but I believe there can be really great advice and wisdom in what is said.  There have been a few times when I'll read my horoscope and it explains a situation I'm going through.  I take the advice to heart and learn what I can from it in my own personal life and in my own unique way.  I believe the same thing for dream meanings.  Oh man the depth that can be recieved from dream symbols!  It's all up to us individually to apply in our own lives and if it doesn't make sense then disregard it or look closer.  Most of the time I find these things very intrigeing so I find this app wonderful.

To all you runners:

Not only does this app track your distance, but it tracks your maximum elevation as well as minimum elevation, elevation gain/loss, average speed, max speed, total time, AND moving time.  No big deal.  Yeah it's amazing, I use it every time I run.

Another favorite of mine:

Mr. Financisto here keeps me tracking my purchases so I don't go into the negative.  It also budgets and shows you your monthly spending habits.  As of now here's mine since I got the app in March:

House:  1680.96

Debt:  929.80

Monthly Bills:  836.12

Pleasure:  410.15

Food:  365.35

Races:  182.00

Since I don't think you know enough personal info about me now, here's another:

My first year in college I felt moody so I kept track of my moods and significant events on my calender.  It was simple enough.  Smiley face on happy days, frowny face on sad days, and lips for when I was kissed.  I figured if there were more than two frowns a week for no real reason I needed to make a more conscious effort to be happy.  I'm just weird and love keeping track of things like that, so obviously I love keeping track of my period and when I make love with my husband.  This one even gives a forecast on fertility and ovulating cycles.  I'm so glad I have this app so I can get a better idea of...well just everything I need to have a good feel for.

Next:

Tv Shows Stream.  The inspiration for this post.  We don't have internet, and I don't have a car so it's hard to keep up on favorite shows such as Greys and Glee and Smallville.  My phone has internet but it's extremely difficult watching shows.  Although I have never been much of a TV watcher, I am grateful for this outstanding app.

Pumpkins vs Monsters:

Here's the rules:

1.  Clifton cannot talk to me when I play this

2.  I have to tell Clifton when I play this game so he doesn't try to talk to me and doesn't get hurt when I don't reply

3.  I can't play this before anything like family events, walking around walmart, going to the dog park, etc.

4.  Having a fan around while playing this game is recommended

I get so into this game.  It always makes me flustered hence rule number three.  It makes me mad a lot too.  Try it sometime.

And lastly:

Wikidroid.  If I don't know the answer I look it up.  I love learning about things and making my brain nice and wrinkly.  Especially since I'm not going to college I need all the help I can get.

Today I'm grateful for apps.  Maybe you'll be grateful for my favorites too!