I am grateful for Mothers Day. Ever since my friend Stephanie has made me more aware of infertility, I have looked at mothers day differently. I wish people wouldn't put such emphasis on the mother part. I feel like it is a day to celebrate womanhood, not motherhood. Because woman are naturally more caring and instinctive mothers to people they come across regardless of whether they have kids or not. It bothers me a little when in church, people say prayers saying things about the moms having a good day because not everyone is a physical mom. Although I know people don't do this intentionally to hurt peoples feelings, it would be nice for people to stop and think about what they are saying and to actually realize that there are so many women in this world that struggle with the hardships of infertility. I'll be honest, I didn't even realize until either last year or the year before. I'm not saying I'm better than anyone else, but it's been a wonderful lesson for me to learn and I feel like it's something I needed to learn. That actually makes me a little afraid that I may have trouble conceiving, and the Lord is preparing me now. Nine months of newlyweddom, no birth control, and no condoms. Infertile? Dumb? Possibly. Of course, I'm a believer that if I was meant to be pregnant I would be pregnant no matter the situation. How often do people get pregnant while on the pill? A lot more than should. The way I see it, God will not give me a child when I am not ready. I am not saying those without kids are not ready. Definitely not what I'm getting at. I just think even if I was on birth control, if God needed me to have a child He would not let the birth control stop anything. I believe everything happens for a reason. Perhaps this infertility education was to help me when I try to conceive, or perhaps it's just so that I may be more sensitive to the things I say in general. I won't know until I am older and see things as they unravel. Until then:
"I hope we can all find joy, in one way or another, in motherhood today. Be it through gratitude for our own mothers, through hope and faith in being a mother some day, through love for children who have passed, or through being a mother right now." -myspoiledeggs
I also really like what was said on the Infertile Life Unedited blog. She said what I want to perfectly. Now you may know or you may not, but Cliftons sister Catherine has been struggling with infertility for 4 years. I can't remember exactly what is wrong, but I know she has to take 3 pills for different things. One to keep her hormone balance, one to not attack the sperm, and one to produce...something like that. Her chances of getting pregnant are so low. She took a year off because the stress and sadness was just too overwhelming but recently started taking the pills again and trying to have a baby. A few months ago she got the swine flu, no joke. It was a huge pain and I didn't see her for at least a month. On Easter she found out she was pregnant, and she told the family tonight. Apparently her body was busy attacking the swine flu that it didn't have any time to fight the sperm and she was able to get pregnant. God is a genius I am telling you. I started crying I was so happy for her.
Along with that, mom LOVED her photobook! As soon as she saw the cover she dropped it and started crying into her hands. I did good :) and that's a great feeling. I love my mom. We have had a lot of disagreements and we've never been close, but I'm grateful for the lessons she's taught me. The older I am getting, the closer her and I get and I like that. I see her as a friend now instead of the enemy trying to ruin my life :P. It was a great today and I am glad I'm a woman. Happy WOMANS day!!!!
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