Swabsky

One of Cliftons best friends just passed away.  He killed himself last Friday and his memorial service was today.  His name was Christopher James Swabsky and he grew to be one of my good friends as well.  Clifton was his best friend outside of family and we had no idea he struggled with depression.  Chris was one of the most caring people we ever knew.  He cared so much about the people around him and wanted them to be happy that I think that's why we didn't know...I don't think he wanted to "burden" us with the way he felt.  I wish we knew though.  We loved that kid.  He had such a beautiful and tender soul.  He was funny and loyal to his friends and a great kid.  And we thought he was genuinely happy!  He was always smiling.  He had the greatest smile :).

I miss him so much already and I know my husband does too.  He hasn't really said much about it and I think he's still a little in denial which totally makes sense.  But it's so hard for me to comfort him and try to make him feel better because it's a pain that really can't be taken away.

I think that's the hardest think about being married.  We've had our share of fights and some have been pretty serious, but there isn't anything I've experienced in marriage yet that's harder than this.  The person I love more than anyone and anything going through a hard time and not being able to take that hurt away like I want to.  We can always come back from a fight and we'll be stronger for it and we'll be able to take the hurt away together.  But this is something he has to work through in order to move passed it, and all I can really do for him is give him my love and support.

Love and miss you Chris.

God be with you til we meet again.