Showing posts with label Family. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Family. Show all posts
Thursday, May 26, 2011
Tolerance
Today a friend and I were talking and he revealed that he did not believe in love. He said that at first people are just infatuated, and then as the years go on they just tolerate each other. I was humored by his statement but as I thought about it more and more I realized he was right. Not about the love. I believe in love. I believe that's why me and my husband cry together after resolving a big fight, or why he selflessly takes care of me regardless of whether I'm sick or not. I think my friend was right about the tolerance. I think tolerance is love. You don't tolerate someone unless you care about them. It's hard sometimes to tolerate people. Especially for me. I don't know why but I get sick of people really fast. If I'm around the same person every day for a week, I begin to loathe them. It's all in my head but I get very perturbed being around the same people constantly. The exceptions to this is my family members and Clifton. Clifton is the ONLY person outside of my siblings that I can bear to be around for very long. That's one of the biggest reasons I knew he and I will always be together. I'm grateful for tolerance and the people loving enough to tolerate me. I know that I am a lot to handle. I don't need much attention and I don't need many clothes and I'm always up for getting dirty. I'm not high maintenance in that aspect. I'm high maintenance in the emotions aspect. And you know what? It's ok, because my husband enjoys maintaining me. Don't think I don't take care of him either. I have learned that I haven't treated Clifton the best, but that has changed. I am continuously making an effort to jolt him the way he jolts me. Why? Because of tolerance. He's an easy person to tolerate anyway, but even if he wasn't I'd still tolerate him because I love him.
Tuesday, May 24, 2011
Becky
Beckaboo (beh-kuh-boo) (noun):
A person of extraordinary responsibility. She is very intelligent and successful. She is the oldest sister and I haven't really gotten to know her until the past few years. She is extremely giving of herself and always puts people before herself. She is sensitive and kind and is aware of the way people feel. She sacrifices so much of herself for others without them even knowing. She is hysterical. Becky is smart, but she is also gullible because she is so trusting. Three years ago my parents were going to Moab and me and Becky were the only ones that were able to go. It was such a fun trip. Becky also has the best stories. Always. No exception. She tells stories so well, and her expressions just add to them perfectly. She reminds me of my favorite aunt; Linda. Becky does what she wants and doesn't let things stop her. She experiences new things and actually LIVES her life. She had the opportunity to run the Ragnar Relay this year in Utah and she will be doing it next month. She has never really run and she still said yes! She knew it would be a fun adventure. I freaking love that. She also is taking an aerial silk class (see picture below). I went to see her today and it was awesome. Becky is so brave and it's inspiring to see her just do things without making lame excuses. I want to be more like her. I love my older sister so much and am so grateful I've gotten to know her as well as I have.
Saturday, May 21, 2011
Road trips
And now. The moment you've all been waiting for.
EISLEY.
It's such a beautiful name. You don't even know!
Today we traveled up to Boise to see them in concert and it was PHENOMENAL! Ammon was quite hesitant; he hated road trips. I assure you that is no longer the case. That's right, we road trip the fun way. Lots of messing with each other, asking meaningful and meaningless questions, stopping at hilarious gas stations, and taking lots of pictures. Enjoy!
EISLEY.
It's such a beautiful name. You don't even know!
Today we traveled up to Boise to see them in concert and it was PHENOMENAL! Ammon was quite hesitant; he hated road trips. I assure you that is no longer the case. That's right, we road trip the fun way. Lots of messing with each other, asking meaningful and meaningless questions, stopping at hilarious gas stations, and taking lots of pictures. Enjoy!
Yes. Those are alpacas (llamas) at the sinclair in the middle of nowhere. Awesome.
They were so soft and plush!
AND we got to feed them! Soooo cool.
See what I mean? Messing with each other. Kari stuffed a twizzler in Ammons nose.
Crazy from the car ride? Or just crazy...
Worst picture ever. I wish I had a computer so I could edit the crap out of it. Actually, I just wish I had a new camera.
We all enjoyed dinner. Can you tell?
Your vision is correct. That is a man with a wizard hat and beer can staff.
Once again, no need to check your eyes. Man with oar crossing the street.
ze birfday girly
And here in Idaho, we like to motivate by beating you up with words. You hopeless and powerless human.
This is the common area in Boise. Boise is seriously the cutest! I loved it there.
Oh hey giant Abe statue in the middle of Boisef. Sup.
Becky chasing the birds, as usual. Kari getting ready to pounce on someone and wrestle, also as usual.
Concert happiness.
Look there they are! There's Eisley :]
Tuesday, May 17, 2011
Things to look forward to!
I'm taking my little sister Kari to Eisley this Saturday and I CANNOT WAIT!!!! I just looked up their new stuff and this song is my favorite so far.
Sunday, May 15, 2011
Unsolicited Advice
It's hard learning lessons sometimes. I'm grateful for it, but it's still hard. I think the biggest part of learning lessons is realizing that something I said or did hurt someone so bad that I need to really work on changing it, especially when no harm was meant; or that I'm really not doing as well as I thought. I know that I can't please everyone and I accept that fact on most days. I am someone that needs people to tell me when I'm being rude or selfish or moody or some other negative attribute. If people don't tell me I don't realize it and I therefore can't change it. I've already mentioned that I will always have to keep my moods in check. It's not something that will permanently change, but it is something I can keep in control and moderation so I don't hurt those around me as well as myself. Today I really learned how important it is for me to keep my mouth shut.
I am a strong believer in just being real. Getting to the point, saying things how they are, no bending the truth or reading between the lines. It's extremely frustrating for me when adults play mind games or dance around the real issue. A friend of mine is in a management position and when another mutual friend asked to be hired, he told her a few different reasons. All of the reasons were true but contradicting to how he hired other people. The actual reason was that he didn't want to hire her and he told me that he didn't. She would've been fine and accepted that but she sensed he wasn't being entirely honest and that was what she had a problem with. I believe that people can sense when someone else is being dishonest. I believe people can sense genuity. It's a lot harder as adults to sense but it's something I think our spirits can definitely detect. No one likes dishonesty in any of it's forms and I'd say that hurt feelings or being angry about something is about 75% because our souls can feel the dishonesty. I don't think my friend meant to hide the real reason. He is so kind and tries so hard not to be rude and he succeeds; in succeeding he fails. He thought telling her flat out would've been hard for her, but it's harder to deal with the sugar coated truth. I'm not bashing his ways because he is a wonderful person. I want you to understand how important being completely truthful is to me. Not everyone can handle it though and that's something I need to remember.
Me and my sister are in a fight right now because of the whole family pictures dealio. You know, the day where Kristin went crazy? Maybe I went crazy. Probably. A few days ago she called me and we talked but then we started fighting. She doesn't want to be a pushover and because of that she is being a bully. I don't know what happened that made her feel this way, but she feels very taken advantage of...by pretty much everyone. She's had a lot of anger building up inside of her and when we spoke she brought up things that have happened in the past that she has been angry about. She is trying to make a positive change in her life which is great. I was frustrated with the things she brought up, because they are things she didn't even look upset about; in fact they are things her and I bonded over. Clearly my point of view is distorted and everyday conversation can be very upsetting to unhappy people. I have been very upset about the things she said and finally got ahold of myself today and realized what needed to be done.
Not too long ago I was reading myinfertilelifeunedited.blogspot.com, and she was talking about a recent appointment she went to. She has been struggling with infertility for SEVEN years and after briefly chatting with a lady next to her in the waiting room the lady said to her "just relax and you'll get pregnant." She has never had an actual period. Her body is physically incapable of being pregnant without treatments and pills and even then it is extremely difficult. It's not something that will happen just by relaxing and she wanted to yell at the lady for saying so. At the end of her post she said this:
"Unsolicited advice, no matter how well-intended, is never welcome."
I now fully agree with her. I have given my sister advice and told her she just needs to relax and that it's pointless to hold onto anger, especially when I've sincerely apologized multiple times. Kristin did not like me telling her how to live her life as if mine was so much better. That's not at all what I had intended but in all reality that is what I was doing, whether it was knowingly or not.
From here on out, I need to keep my mouth shut. Not everyone is like me and needs things to be said as straightforward as possible. It's what makes people beautiful and unique--our differences. I hate not being able to say how I feel when I feel it, because that makes me feel fake and I hate that. But if it's not something that will make the person feel better about their life and relationships it will always do more harm than good. That's not worth losing family over.
I am grateful for the lesson that I learned this week and especially today. I was really struggling with the things that were happening with Kristin and I needed counsel from my mom. Before I could get that counsel I realized what needed to be done and that's exactly what. I am the problem. As hard as that is for me to accept it has been accepted and I will embrace the beautiful unsolicited advice I recieved while reading myinfertilelifeunedited.
I am a strong believer in just being real. Getting to the point, saying things how they are, no bending the truth or reading between the lines. It's extremely frustrating for me when adults play mind games or dance around the real issue. A friend of mine is in a management position and when another mutual friend asked to be hired, he told her a few different reasons. All of the reasons were true but contradicting to how he hired other people. The actual reason was that he didn't want to hire her and he told me that he didn't. She would've been fine and accepted that but she sensed he wasn't being entirely honest and that was what she had a problem with. I believe that people can sense when someone else is being dishonest. I believe people can sense genuity. It's a lot harder as adults to sense but it's something I think our spirits can definitely detect. No one likes dishonesty in any of it's forms and I'd say that hurt feelings or being angry about something is about 75% because our souls can feel the dishonesty. I don't think my friend meant to hide the real reason. He is so kind and tries so hard not to be rude and he succeeds; in succeeding he fails. He thought telling her flat out would've been hard for her, but it's harder to deal with the sugar coated truth. I'm not bashing his ways because he is a wonderful person. I want you to understand how important being completely truthful is to me. Not everyone can handle it though and that's something I need to remember.
Me and my sister are in a fight right now because of the whole family pictures dealio. You know, the day where Kristin went crazy? Maybe I went crazy. Probably. A few days ago she called me and we talked but then we started fighting. She doesn't want to be a pushover and because of that she is being a bully. I don't know what happened that made her feel this way, but she feels very taken advantage of...by pretty much everyone. She's had a lot of anger building up inside of her and when we spoke she brought up things that have happened in the past that she has been angry about. She is trying to make a positive change in her life which is great. I was frustrated with the things she brought up, because they are things she didn't even look upset about; in fact they are things her and I bonded over. Clearly my point of view is distorted and everyday conversation can be very upsetting to unhappy people. I have been very upset about the things she said and finally got ahold of myself today and realized what needed to be done.
Not too long ago I was reading myinfertilelifeunedited.blogspot.com, and she was talking about a recent appointment she went to. She has been struggling with infertility for SEVEN years and after briefly chatting with a lady next to her in the waiting room the lady said to her "just relax and you'll get pregnant." She has never had an actual period. Her body is physically incapable of being pregnant without treatments and pills and even then it is extremely difficult. It's not something that will happen just by relaxing and she wanted to yell at the lady for saying so. At the end of her post she said this:
"Unsolicited advice, no matter how well-intended, is never welcome."
I now fully agree with her. I have given my sister advice and told her she just needs to relax and that it's pointless to hold onto anger, especially when I've sincerely apologized multiple times. Kristin did not like me telling her how to live her life as if mine was so much better. That's not at all what I had intended but in all reality that is what I was doing, whether it was knowingly or not.
From here on out, I need to keep my mouth shut. Not everyone is like me and needs things to be said as straightforward as possible. It's what makes people beautiful and unique--our differences. I hate not being able to say how I feel when I feel it, because that makes me feel fake and I hate that. But if it's not something that will make the person feel better about their life and relationships it will always do more harm than good. That's not worth losing family over.
I am grateful for the lesson that I learned this week and especially today. I was really struggling with the things that were happening with Kristin and I needed counsel from my mom. Before I could get that counsel I realized what needed to be done and that's exactly what. I am the problem. As hard as that is for me to accept it has been accepted and I will embrace the beautiful unsolicited advice I recieved while reading myinfertilelifeunedited.
Saturday, May 7, 2011
Sunday, May 1, 2011
The phrase "No big deal"
I have been frustrated for a good part of today. Today was family pictures. Now, I've never had a bad family picture experience. My family is great when we get together...until today. Holy horror.
PLANNING
First of all you need to know it has been sooo stressful for me to coordinate everything. A few weeks ago I decided the perfect mothers day gift would be to have pictures of all her kids together. No spouses and no parents to make it a surprise for her. Aarons divorce gave me the idea actually. I hate when my phone contacts are pictureless so I tried finding a good picture of just Aaron, and the most recent one of him without Meg is from quite a few years ago. Even then it's not the greatest picture. At first I was going to get together with each sibling individually and do portrait and model shots for my mom. Then I realized it'd be easier and more meaningful if there was a picture of everyone together. So since it was my idea, I was in charge of everything. It is HARD finding a time for 8 people with very different work schedules to get together. Not to mention it was such short notice. I know. Boo on me. But I have been very determined the past few weeks because I knew these pictures would mean so much to my mom.
After finally getting a time everyone could meet, I decided on the place with Ammon. It's an old building on 24th and Wall and it was PERFECT! There was a grassy area with trees, red brick, wooden fences, and green garages. The only problem was it was in a fenced in area; there were no "no trespassing" signs and there's a good size gap in the fence. But just in case someone didn't want to trespass, I chose the front side of the building and the building next door as backup. I did not want to photograph at the Union Station because everyone, their dog, and their shoes have taken pictures there. Way too overdone and unoriginal for me. After deciding the location last week I picked out the colors and sent out mass texts to everyone as a reminder. In my text I said no one needed to be super fancy and that jeans with a nice top would work fine.
Another thing was the photographer. I don't have the kind of money it takes to pay for a photographer and the photographer friends I asked to do it for free weren't able to on such short notice. I was planning on taking the pictures myself, with lots of help from Clifton. I love taking pictures. I looked at several family photo ideas and tips for hours the past week so that I would be ready. At last minute I was able to get ahold of a really nice professional camera. Don't ask me how. It's a secret. I was so grateful though.
THE PHOTO SHOOT
We all met at the location with the exception of Shane, who was getting off work a little late. From the start Kristin objected to trespassing. That was fine, but the spot was so perfect so I wanted to get some individual shots of everyone else first while we waited for Shane. Everyone waited outside the fence while I did Kari and Madie, then Shane arrived. We all caught up and Kristin was still saying she didn't want to trespass. I told her that was fine and we'd go around the front of the building. She misunderstood and thought I was still "trying to get her to trespass" so she started freaking out and telling me how it was against the law. I told her what I meant and she told me she was glad I was OK with it. I said I wasn't but it was fine. Obviously she didn't like that. But I just wanted to get it done so we went to the front of the building and took lots of pictures. In the ones facing the sun, we are much more squinty than I thought at the time which kind of bums me out but it's NO BiG DEAL.
I wanted a change of location so we headed over to the next building with the red brick. These ones thankfully turned out great! While we were in the middle of a picture, a security truck suddenly sped into the parking lot. The officer got out of the truck and started yelling at us and telling us we were on private property and needed to leave immediately. Everyone was out of the parking lot when the officer stopped Clifton so he could get some information for his report. Clifton is a security guard and knows the drill so he was more that willing to help the guy out. As I was about to cross the street Kristin was storming back to the parking lot so I asked her what she was doing. She interrupted me and told me to just go. I was curious so I gave the camera to Kari--I was afraid I would be forced to delete the pictures since it was apparently the IRS building--and she drove away as I went back to where Clifton, Kristin, and the security guard were. Kristin was yelling at him. Very loudly. "WHAT ARE YOU GONNA DO, CALL THE POLICE?!" She grabbed Cliftons license from the officer and I started to apologize. I honestly did not know that we were trespassing, and that we were at the IRS building. The parking lot is fairly open with the exception of the gate to the lot. Other than that it is a public sidewalk, and there are absolutely NO "signs of operation" or "no trespassing" or "government property" signs. NONE! How am I supposed to know we were trespassing when I'd been through there before? Before I could get my apology all the way out Kristin stopped me and said "No Jesse let's just go you don't apologize." On the way out of the parking lot she yelled vulgarities to no one in particular. Truthfully I was embarrassed. The security guard had to be over 70 and he was shaking. He probably thought we were a gang or doing drugs or something. He was scared and just doing his job. Why get mad about that?
We ended up meeting at the Union Station to finish on pictures but somehow Kari and Kristin, who were carpooling, got lost in the commotion. I tried calling Kristin to apologize and calm her down but she didn't answer any of my calls. Kari called to see where we were meeting so I asked to talk to Kristin. I heard her in the background saying she didn't want to talk to me but eventually she gave in. This is about how the conversation went:
Me: Kristin will you please calm down, I am so sorry. I honestly didn't know we were trespassing otherwise I wouldn't have done pictures there at the brick wall.
K: Well Kari said it was the IRS building at least 9 times!
Me: She did? OK I really didn't hear her, and even if I had I didn't know we were trespassing. I'm sorry. Why didn't you tell me if you knew we were?
K: I told you I didn't want to trespass and you all made me feel SO bad so I didn't want to say anything because you guys don't respect me or the fact that I didn't want to trespass.
Me: Kristin if I didn't respect your wish I wouldn't have gone to a different place at the start. What makes you think I would've tried to trick you if I already was going along with your request? I think if you truly believed me you wouldn't be so mad.
K: This is why I don't go out, because of situations like this. You have enough pictures of me, I'm just going to go home.
Me: Kris please don't. I need more and I still need your individuals. And this isn't for me this is for mom. We're at the Union Station:
K: I do not want to be around here anymore! I don't want to be anywhere we can get kicked out!
Me: The union station isn't trespassing...is it? People are here all the time.
K: I don't know, I just don't want to be in this area anymore.
Me: OK pick a place and we'll go there.
K: I don't know....
Me: Kristin pick a place right now and we'll go.
K: I'm going home you have enough pictures of me. Bye.
She hung up. The whole time I spoke with her I had a pretty soft tone so she wouldn't get even more mad. Plus I was genuinely sorry. By the end though I was so mad. When I told her to pick a place the second time-it was not in a nice voice. I was so flustered when I got off the phone with her that I dropped my phone getting out of the car. I didn't pick it up on purpose because I was mad. I told everyone what Kristin decided then I got back in the car. Becky came over and told me to get it started because she wanted to go to moms. I started crying and told her Kari had the camera and she wasn't there yet, otherwise I would've been taking the pictures. Kari arrived shortly after and it took about 7 minutes to do individual shots of my 4 remaining siblings.
AFTERWARDS
I was not happy. I was stressed getting everything together, I was pressured posing everybody for the shots, and I was upset with Kristin. It felt like only a few sibs understood the position I was in. It didn't even take 45 minutes for the whole shoot. I didn't want to take too long, but that was not enough time for me to get enough great shots with how inexperienced I am. I dealt with what I had though.
On the way home, me and Clifton stopped by the building to try and apologize to the security guard that my sister so rudely yelled at. He was inside writing a report though so we were unable to apologize. I got home and realized I didn't have my phone. That's right. I left it in the parking lot purposely on accident. I drove to the Union Station and found my phone--with a perfect tread over it. Clifton had ran over my phone. Great. After checking everything out, I was overcome with gratitude as I realized my phone was still in perfect condition. It's a mytouch 4g in case you want one ;).
Getting home, I only had the last half of the day to edit the photos and make a photo book through shutterfly so I could get the mothers day sale and so it would arrive in time. 7 1/2 hours later, here I am blogging about the most horrendous picture day ever. It's made me realize how much I love the phrase "no big deal". I've been saying it for months and today I fell in love with it. I said it multiple times today and I think it's a verbal reminder to myself and to others that things really aren't as dramatic as they appear. I never say it in a way to depreciate the way somebody feels. I only say it in a way that at the end of the day it really isn't a big deal.
NO BIG DEAL
We decide how serious something is. I know there are a lot of different situations like death or divorce that make it sound insensitive to say. And I totally get the mourning process; been there done that. I had a close close friend pass away in December and you know what? No big deal. I'll see him again, and in all reality no one makes it out alive. I miss him a lot, but this phrase has really helped me keep perspective on the bigger, more eternal picture. It's helped me whenever I want to overreact to something with my crazy girly emotions. Today was madness and I probably won't be doing another photo shoot anytime soon but you know what? No big deal :)
PLANNING
First of all you need to know it has been sooo stressful for me to coordinate everything. A few weeks ago I decided the perfect mothers day gift would be to have pictures of all her kids together. No spouses and no parents to make it a surprise for her. Aarons divorce gave me the idea actually. I hate when my phone contacts are pictureless so I tried finding a good picture of just Aaron, and the most recent one of him without Meg is from quite a few years ago. Even then it's not the greatest picture. At first I was going to get together with each sibling individually and do portrait and model shots for my mom. Then I realized it'd be easier and more meaningful if there was a picture of everyone together. So since it was my idea, I was in charge of everything. It is HARD finding a time for 8 people with very different work schedules to get together. Not to mention it was such short notice. I know. Boo on me. But I have been very determined the past few weeks because I knew these pictures would mean so much to my mom.
After finally getting a time everyone could meet, I decided on the place with Ammon. It's an old building on 24th and Wall and it was PERFECT! There was a grassy area with trees, red brick, wooden fences, and green garages. The only problem was it was in a fenced in area; there were no "no trespassing" signs and there's a good size gap in the fence. But just in case someone didn't want to trespass, I chose the front side of the building and the building next door as backup. I did not want to photograph at the Union Station because everyone, their dog, and their shoes have taken pictures there. Way too overdone and unoriginal for me. After deciding the location last week I picked out the colors and sent out mass texts to everyone as a reminder. In my text I said no one needed to be super fancy and that jeans with a nice top would work fine.
Another thing was the photographer. I don't have the kind of money it takes to pay for a photographer and the photographer friends I asked to do it for free weren't able to on such short notice. I was planning on taking the pictures myself, with lots of help from Clifton. I love taking pictures. I looked at several family photo ideas and tips for hours the past week so that I would be ready. At last minute I was able to get ahold of a really nice professional camera. Don't ask me how. It's a secret. I was so grateful though.
THE PHOTO SHOOT
We all met at the location with the exception of Shane, who was getting off work a little late. From the start Kristin objected to trespassing. That was fine, but the spot was so perfect so I wanted to get some individual shots of everyone else first while we waited for Shane. Everyone waited outside the fence while I did Kari and Madie, then Shane arrived. We all caught up and Kristin was still saying she didn't want to trespass. I told her that was fine and we'd go around the front of the building. She misunderstood and thought I was still "trying to get her to trespass" so she started freaking out and telling me how it was against the law. I told her what I meant and she told me she was glad I was OK with it. I said I wasn't but it was fine. Obviously she didn't like that. But I just wanted to get it done so we went to the front of the building and took lots of pictures. In the ones facing the sun, we are much more squinty than I thought at the time which kind of bums me out but it's NO BiG DEAL.
I wanted a change of location so we headed over to the next building with the red brick. These ones thankfully turned out great! While we were in the middle of a picture, a security truck suddenly sped into the parking lot. The officer got out of the truck and started yelling at us and telling us we were on private property and needed to leave immediately. Everyone was out of the parking lot when the officer stopped Clifton so he could get some information for his report. Clifton is a security guard and knows the drill so he was more that willing to help the guy out. As I was about to cross the street Kristin was storming back to the parking lot so I asked her what she was doing. She interrupted me and told me to just go. I was curious so I gave the camera to Kari--I was afraid I would be forced to delete the pictures since it was apparently the IRS building--and she drove away as I went back to where Clifton, Kristin, and the security guard were. Kristin was yelling at him. Very loudly. "WHAT ARE YOU GONNA DO, CALL THE POLICE?!" She grabbed Cliftons license from the officer and I started to apologize. I honestly did not know that we were trespassing, and that we were at the IRS building. The parking lot is fairly open with the exception of the gate to the lot. Other than that it is a public sidewalk, and there are absolutely NO "signs of operation" or "no trespassing" or "government property" signs. NONE! How am I supposed to know we were trespassing when I'd been through there before? Before I could get my apology all the way out Kristin stopped me and said "No Jesse let's just go you don't apologize." On the way out of the parking lot she yelled vulgarities to no one in particular. Truthfully I was embarrassed. The security guard had to be over 70 and he was shaking. He probably thought we were a gang or doing drugs or something. He was scared and just doing his job. Why get mad about that?
We ended up meeting at the Union Station to finish on pictures but somehow Kari and Kristin, who were carpooling, got lost in the commotion. I tried calling Kristin to apologize and calm her down but she didn't answer any of my calls. Kari called to see where we were meeting so I asked to talk to Kristin. I heard her in the background saying she didn't want to talk to me but eventually she gave in. This is about how the conversation went:
Me: Kristin will you please calm down, I am so sorry. I honestly didn't know we were trespassing otherwise I wouldn't have done pictures there at the brick wall.
K: Well Kari said it was the IRS building at least 9 times!
Me: She did? OK I really didn't hear her, and even if I had I didn't know we were trespassing. I'm sorry. Why didn't you tell me if you knew we were?
K: I told you I didn't want to trespass and you all made me feel SO bad so I didn't want to say anything because you guys don't respect me or the fact that I didn't want to trespass.
Me: Kristin if I didn't respect your wish I wouldn't have gone to a different place at the start. What makes you think I would've tried to trick you if I already was going along with your request? I think if you truly believed me you wouldn't be so mad.
K: This is why I don't go out, because of situations like this. You have enough pictures of me, I'm just going to go home.
Me: Kris please don't. I need more and I still need your individuals. And this isn't for me this is for mom. We're at the Union Station:
K: I do not want to be around here anymore! I don't want to be anywhere we can get kicked out!
Me: The union station isn't trespassing...is it? People are here all the time.
K: I don't know, I just don't want to be in this area anymore.
Me: OK pick a place and we'll go there.
K: I don't know....
Me: Kristin pick a place right now and we'll go.
K: I'm going home you have enough pictures of me. Bye.
She hung up. The whole time I spoke with her I had a pretty soft tone so she wouldn't get even more mad. Plus I was genuinely sorry. By the end though I was so mad. When I told her to pick a place the second time-it was not in a nice voice. I was so flustered when I got off the phone with her that I dropped my phone getting out of the car. I didn't pick it up on purpose because I was mad. I told everyone what Kristin decided then I got back in the car. Becky came over and told me to get it started because she wanted to go to moms. I started crying and told her Kari had the camera and she wasn't there yet, otherwise I would've been taking the pictures. Kari arrived shortly after and it took about 7 minutes to do individual shots of my 4 remaining siblings.
AFTERWARDS
I was not happy. I was stressed getting everything together, I was pressured posing everybody for the shots, and I was upset with Kristin. It felt like only a few sibs understood the position I was in. It didn't even take 45 minutes for the whole shoot. I didn't want to take too long, but that was not enough time for me to get enough great shots with how inexperienced I am. I dealt with what I had though.
On the way home, me and Clifton stopped by the building to try and apologize to the security guard that my sister so rudely yelled at. He was inside writing a report though so we were unable to apologize. I got home and realized I didn't have my phone. That's right. I left it in the parking lot purposely on accident. I drove to the Union Station and found my phone--with a perfect tread over it. Clifton had ran over my phone. Great. After checking everything out, I was overcome with gratitude as I realized my phone was still in perfect condition. It's a mytouch 4g in case you want one ;).
Getting home, I only had the last half of the day to edit the photos and make a photo book through shutterfly so I could get the mothers day sale and so it would arrive in time. 7 1/2 hours later, here I am blogging about the most horrendous picture day ever. It's made me realize how much I love the phrase "no big deal". I've been saying it for months and today I fell in love with it. I said it multiple times today and I think it's a verbal reminder to myself and to others that things really aren't as dramatic as they appear. I never say it in a way to depreciate the way somebody feels. I only say it in a way that at the end of the day it really isn't a big deal.
NO BIG DEAL
We decide how serious something is. I know there are a lot of different situations like death or divorce that make it sound insensitive to say. And I totally get the mourning process; been there done that. I had a close close friend pass away in December and you know what? No big deal. I'll see him again, and in all reality no one makes it out alive. I miss him a lot, but this phrase has really helped me keep perspective on the bigger, more eternal picture. It's helped me whenever I want to overreact to something with my crazy girly emotions. Today was madness and I probably won't be doing another photo shoot anytime soon but you know what? No big deal :)
Rebecca Mae
Shane Martin
Aaron Spencer
Sisters
Dorky brothers
After editing this one, it was brought to my attention how silly it is. Oh well :P
Jesse Lynn
Kari Ann
Charles Ammon
Madison Margaret
This is the picture I blew up to hang in my moms house.
This one is my favorite :)
NOTES: Kristin left before she could get her individuals done. For the book I cropped and worked with what I had for her page, but her pictures embarrass me so I am not posting them. And a huge huge HUGE thank you to my husband who snapped the button after I positioned the camera and people. He wasn't planning on it and was probably a little annoyed but I owe him big. Especially for dealing with my crazyness the whole day. I love you baby :)
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